Rotorua's love stories

Gina and Elmer Peiffer say making each laugh every is a key. PHOTO/ STEPHEN PARKER

It's Valentine's Day and love is in the air. Rebecca Malcolm talks to four local people and finds out how they arrived at love in different ways, and what's kept each relationship going strong.

When Gina Peiffer started visiting American chatrooms she wasn't looking for love - in fact it was the furthest thing from her mind.

But that's exactly what she found.

After more than three years of chatting to Elmer as friends, they made the decision to take their relationship that little bit further. With a wedding dress chosen and packed in her bag "just in case" she jetted off from her Rotorua home, leaving her four children behind, with the idea that if the chemistry was there in person, then they'd tie the knot.

She arrived in Canada on the Tuesday and met him for the first time face-to-face, and the pair were married on the Saturday.

"We always said if the chemistry was there we'd get married, if not I'd have a holiday."
It didn't get off to the smoothest start - with Elmer not recognising Gina until she was standing beside him and tapped him on the shoulder.
But the rest, as they say, is history with the couple preparing to celebrate their 12th wedding anniversary in May.

Gina and Elmer Peiffer found love online.

Gina admits there were plenty of people who thought she was insane when they heard she was flying to the other side of the world to meet someone she only knew from the net.

"My family thought I was insane but they know I do insane things."
She said her father, who worked for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade, contacted the Canadian embassy to get a list of people she could contact if it all turned bad.

"My best friend wasn't going to let me go. She was horrified I'd end up in a bathtub with my organs missing."

However, Gina says she had none of those fears.

"We knew each other really well. We spoke all the time on the telephone, snail mail etc. He established relationships with each of my children before I went over so we already had that basis."
While she was confident they had the base for the relationship, Gina says she kept an open mind until they knew the physical side was there too.

She believes the basis has helped create the enduring relationship.
"The fact that he made me laugh every day and took the time to get to know me and my kids."

They planned the wedding themselves in just a few days, with Elmer's dad giving Gina away.
"All his friends and family were there but none of mine. I was literally married in front of a bunch of strangers."

After three weeks of travelling, the pair moved back to Rotorua.
"He knew I wouldn't live there but it was a big ask for him."
She says the key to their relationship is communication, talking and making each other laugh a lot.

"We work really well as a team."

As for advice for others turning online for love?
"Make sure that you actually know the person, know about their family. I got to speak to his family members."

She says the fact that she was "a little bit older" when they married - she was 40, he was 29, meant she was more ready for the relationship.

"I had four kids, I wasn't looking for nothing."

Arranged bliss
Nirajan Raj grew up knowing that one day or another, he'd have an arranged marriage.

The Rotorua man says it was something from his culture, and while not everyone followed it these days, he knew it was something that was going to happen for him.

"I had already heard about my wife Shareen through family. My uncle who lives about a kilometre away from my wife's family was the one who had done all the formal talks. But the first look at her and it just hit me that she is definitely the one for me."

Nirajan says while it was a surprise that the engagement took place so early, he felt happy "that my life was going to get settled".

He says the the marriage works through trust, being honest, appreciating each other and admitting mistakes if they occur. That, and of course, love.

Nirajan Raj says his arranged marriage to Shareen is a perfect match.

According to Nirajan the benefit of the arranged marriage is getting to know and find out more and more about each other's feelings and likes.

While the couple had met previously as little kids - aged about 6 years old - when they met again they just "clicked right away" after about half an hour of talking.

"Our engagement was in July 2013 and I went back [to Fiji] in November to get the formal marriage done so that I could get the papers for immigration done. The full traditional Hindu wedding was held on June 21, 2014."

He says from the time of the engagement until the wedding they were in constant touch through texts and Skype and Viber calls.
And his advice to other couples? "Trust each other, just be honest, share your feelings and be happy."

Love at first sight
He's played a significant part in hundreds of weddings across the country, but Peter Duncan's own marriage was in front of immediate family and a room full of 500 strangers.

Valeta was his childhood sweetheart. He went to Rotorua Boys' High School, she was at Rotorua Girls' High School. He knew almost instantly that he'd like to spend the rest of his life with her, and from a solid foundation of friendship that's what has happened.

It took him about seven years to get the courage to pop the question.
They intended to elope - not wanting to put financial pressure on their families for the cost of a wedding - but Valeta's parents "quite rightly" were adamant they wanted to be present.

So the pair got married in his old school hall one day when there was a minister on hand to marry them, in front of immediate family and about 500 guests who were there for a church conference.

"I just wanted to marry her."

The couple are now headed into their 26th year of marriage and together run The Wedding Guy. According to Peter, the single biggest piece of advice that he gives to couples getting married is the one they follow.

"If you want longevity you have to consider it just like any great investment, you have to invest into it."

Peter and Valeta Duncan met at high school.

He describes marriage as being like a rollercoaster with some major thrills and some spills.

Peter says they'll be celebrating Valentine's Day.

"It's really important. For us it's more about the idea of acknowledging each other."

Now marrying people, Peter says the beauty of the 21st Century is that people don't have to get married - they choose to.

"They are making that step together."

He says people tend to arrive at the marriage by one of two paths - a blended family wanting that marriage, or people who are "madly in love and see it as a great way to solidify their relationship".

Whirlwind romance lasts
For Anne McCormack, a meeting at youth night was the spark for a whirlwind relationship that developed into 25 years of marriage and eight children.
Within weeks of meeting James the pair were engaged, and were married just a few months later.

"I knew I wanted to spend my life with him."

This week the couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, with their children who range in age from 25 to a "surprise" 2-year-old son.

"It wasn't always easy but we made sure to get through whatever hard things came our way. Twenty-five years later we're still here."

And that's where her biggest piece of advice for young couples comes in - "just say that there is nothing you can't get through".

Being members of the church and having God in their lives was a part of that.

"The great thing was that the pastor that married us in 1990 married my parents in the 1960s. That was a big privilege."

Anne and James McCormack's wedding photo taken 25 years ago.

She says she always knew if anything happened between them, she'd never marry again.

"This is the only husband I'll have.
"And he's an awesome husband, an awesome father. We are always his first priority."

Anne says while the couple always thought they'd have two, maybe three, children they kept trying for a boy. Seven girls later, they were really happy with their lot when at 42 Anne fell pregnant - with the longed-for boy.

Her children, and now her one granddaughter, are what she counts as some of the best parts of the marriage.