Lynette David (left), Sarah Dewes and Kay Ryan volunteers for the No One Dies Alone programme at Rotorua Hospital. Photo / Andrew Warner
“I’m still here with you. I’m not going to leave you alone.”
These are the words Lynette David has spoken at the bedsides of three Rotorua Hospital patients in their final hours of life.
“I will talk to them and reassure them,” David told the Rotorua Daily Post Weekend.
“I say, ‘It’s Lynette here, I can see you’re really suffering but I’m here with you and I will be here with you.’
“If you know the work that they’ve done in their lives, you can thank them for it.”
David is a volunteer for the No One Dies Alone programme, which began in the United States in 2001. It was founded by nurse Sandra Clarke, who was unable to fulfil a patient’s request to be with him as he died.
Since then, No One Dies Alone volunteers have been compassionate companions for hospital patients in the end stages of life when there were no family or friends to accompany them in their final hours.
The programme, active in hospitals across the US, has now arrived in New Zealand.
In December, in partnership with Te Atawhai Aroha, Rotorua Hospital became the first hospital in the country to trial the programme.
David, an administrator for the local Te Whatu Ora Covid-19 vaccination hub, found out about No One Dies Alone through the staff intranet.
“I look at that every morning just to see what the latest news is,” she said.
“And I saw that they were asking for volunteers.”
David thought of her mum and dad.
“I remembered how tired I was. I was working full-time and going in and looking after my mum at night. She had cancer and motor neurone disease. She was in the hospital every once in a while.
“My dad had brain cancer and lived up north. It would have been great to have that support.”
David said she decided to volunteer for the programme as a “homage” to her parents.
Since then she has been called to the bedsides of three Rotorua Hospital patients.
“We have had one lady who couldn’t speak but you could tell her brain was still very active. One gentleman was in a comatose state.”
David said the third was a man who “suddenly went quiet” on his last day but not before telling David one thing.
“He said he was too scared to be left alone.
“I stayed with him through the whole night from about 11pm to 9am the next day. He basically just went to sleep.”
David said volunteers usually stood vigil for a couple of hours at a time, taking turns.
“It can be quite draining. We’re fully present there with that person.
“When I was with my mum, I don’t think I was fully there. I was juggling. Now I’ve learnt that when you go in and you’re with these people you are still, you are present with them, nothing else.
“I may not have given it to my mum and my father because of life’s circumstances. But I think my parents would be happy that I’ve learnt that now.”
David is one of 17 volunteers involved in the No One Dies Alone programme.
Fellow volunteer Kay Ryan, one of the programme’s co-ordinators, said when the hospital first put out the call for volunteers she was overwhelmed by the response.
“I’m surprised by the generosity of people, their willingness to get up in the middle of the night and go and sit with somebody. I don’t have to put in an effort to get people to come. They’re just there.”
Ryan’s involvement with the programme came after she moved to Rotorua for her retirement and made contact with Te Atawhai Aroha, a not-for-profit group of volunteers working together to build whānau and community preparedness for death, loss and grief.
“It just seemed to fall into place.”
Ryan said she too was getting ready for the end of her life.
“Because of my age, I’m 75, [death] is part of my life too. Being with death is helping me to live. It’s making me feel like I’m living a fuller life.”
Ryan said she had sat with four people. “It’s such an honour to be right there at this important moment in their lives.”
Ryan said No One Dies Alone also supported loved ones and hospital staff.
“Some people choose to die alone. The programme is for those people who haven’t got anybody, who may have lived on the street or their family can’t get there or the family are exhausted and need a break.”
Ryan remembered getting an e-text from the hospital to be with a person who was being supported by a friend.
“She was such a good friend but she just couldn’t be there the whole time. She had so little support herself that when we came along she was just delighted and we were able to support her as well when her person died.”
Ryan said the programme began with “a dozen” volunteers and was now up to 17. So far, volunteers have been called to the bedsides of seven patients.
“We got off to a slow start. People are starting to understand what the programme’s about.”
Ryan said she hoped more people would become aware of the programme so that volunteers could go where they were needed.
If there was more demand, the number of volunteers would grow.
“We’re learning every time. We are enriched by it. The dying are our greatest teachers.”
Rotorua Hospital palliative care physician Dr Denise Aitken said in a statement that she was “blown away” by the number of volunteers who came forward for the programme.
“They’re a real mix of people,” Aitken said.
“Our nurses in our acute wards are very busy and there’s distress about not being able to be with people at this stage of their lives if they’ve no family.”
Volunteer and Te Atawhai Aroha co-ordinator Sarah Dewes said many people did not know what support was available for the last stages of life.
“Not many people think about death and dying. We’re too busy fighting to stay alive.”
Dewes said the programme could provide some relief to a health system under “immense stress”.
“The stress is going to get worse with our ageing population.
“And there’s a lot more people who don’t want to die in hospital but have to because there’s no one around to care for them.”
Dewes said there was also “a big need” for improved knowledge around death and the dying process.
“I’ve learned how important it is to prepare and talk to people around you about your end of life and what you want to happen after death. We’ve forgotten how to plan.”
Dewes said the programme was going to be rolled out to nursing homes, starting with Rotorua’s Cantabria Lifecare and Village in the coming week.
Dewes said her growing knowledge of dying and being involved in No One Dies Alone had helped her to live her life more fully.
“I appreciate every day because I know I’m mortal.”
Maryana Garcia is a regional reporter writing for the Rotorua Daily Post and the Bay of Plenty Times. She covers local issues, health and crime.
Local Democracy Reporting obtained the decision through the court.