Ngahi Bidois: We can learn from Stubby

Stubby Walter Bidois was a man of few words but when he did speak, people listened. Photo / Supplied

I recently tried to find a photo of my uncle Stubby so I searched for him on Google images. There was not one online image of him. Not one. That didn't surprise me really because he was a very private man, with a public whanau profile.

What I did find when I searched 'Stubby Walter Bidois' was a picture of my daughter Tumanako Bidois sitting on a tyre under a walnut tree at the Awahou river mouth. A walnut tree that uncle Stubby had planted and looked after for many years, and now he is gone. He passed away peacefully in his home at the Awahou river mouth on May 13 surrounded by my aunty Zorah (nee Khan) and many of his whanau.

With the lack of a Google photo there are several Maori proverbs that best illustrate my uncle Stubby. He ringa raupa is one. Uncle Stubby was known for his hard work and whether it was for his iwi of Ngati Rangiwewehi or Ngararanui or the Ngongotaha community his workload was huge ranging from ringa wera to Deputy Chair to Kake Leonard for many years through to caretaker of the Ngongotaha School to working as a wharfie at the Mount.

In fact the day before he went into hospital he collected firewood. Each day was he ra whatiwhati ko, good for working. If you have ever been to the Awahou river mouth, chances are that you have walked on the lawns that he always mowed by the river and around his walnut tree.

When it came to hard work, Uncle Stubby was the man.

He kanohi i kitea is another Maori proverb that describes my uncle. He was not a speaker on the paepae, but he was always at tangi. His face was often seen, along with aunty Zorah at many tangi throughout the motu. So it was no wonder that many distinguished kaumatua came to honour him at his tangi. Not only was he seen at tangi but he was also there at the market and on the sidelines of sports fields for his children and grandchildren, Uenuku Fairhall commented that he was always seen at Te Kura o Te Koutu supporting whanau members too. He kotuku rerenga tahi he was not!

He tangata kii tahi, best describes my uncle as a man of few words. But when he did speak, people made sure to listen. The thing about my uncle was that he did not care who you were. If he thought you were doing wrong, he would let you know and he did not mince his words doing it. You always knew where you stood. He also let you know when he thought you were doing the right thing too. His faith and commitment to Saint Faith's and the Church at Awahou meant he was often a man of wisdom and courage which could only be described as coming from above at times.

In summary, my uncle Stubby was old school. Great morals, hardworking, loved his wife and whanau, committed to his iwi, community and people.

Always looking to serve rather than be served he was a man of few words who talked the talk and walked the walk.

His son Louis described his father in his eulogy as a man of the hand, mouth and heart. So what about us who remain? In this modern day of Facebook and multiple online images (I'm guilty) where do the "old school" values stand?

Stubby Walter Bidois' life is a challenge to us all to make the most of outworking the Maori proverbs our ancestors left us and a reminder of what can be achieved when we do. Do you need time to think on this?

There's a tyre at the Awahou river mouth under a walnut tree that I recommend you check out. Many have been and sat there before you and many will travel that way after you. Thanks to Stubby Walter Bidois.

- Ngahihi o te ra is from Te Arawa and is an international speaker, author and consultant. His book is available at McLeods book store and the Lakeside cafe in Rotorua. His website can be viewed at www.ngahibidois.com