Ngahi Bidois: Lessons in humility

A few years ago, I did some pro-bono motivational presentations at a couple of schools and decided to take my son Eru along for a father/son road trip. The first school we went to was Paeroa College and they put us up at a Paeroa motel the evening before the presentation. After a delicious breakfast, my son said the motel was pretty flash and the food was awesome, which it was. I presented at the college and Eru joined me for the haka at the end, before we went on to our next engagement.

The second presentation was to Westlake Boys High and they put us up in a five-star hotel on Auckland's North Shore. As we walked into our room, Eru said, "Man, Papa, this is a bit different to the Paeroa motel, eh", and it was.

The next morning I presented at a father/son breakfast in the hotel. From there, we went to the college to present to more than 1200 students and staff. Eru joined me again for our haka and we received a haka from the students, which was followed by the longest standing ovation I have ever received.

We did a couple of small group presentations before leaving late in the afternoon and, as we drove away from the college, Eru said: "Man, Papa I am so glad you brought me on this road trip, thank you."

Thinking I could turn this into a reflection time for him, I asked: "Why do you say that bro? What is the most important thing you have learnt from this road trip?"

Eru thought for awhile before replying: "Well, if I don't get a real job, I could always do what you do and become a professional speaker."

I laughed and, when he realised what he had said, he laughed too.

My son and I made many memorable moments on that road trip but the most significant memory occurred on our trip home from Auckland to Rotorua. Before leaving the college, I had changed out of my suit into jeans and T-shirt. We were an hour out of Auckland and, because we were both tired, decided to pull over at a rest area and have a catnap. Unfortunately, I left the car lights on and, when we awoke, just on dusk the car would not start.

It took more than two hours before someone helped us with many people taking one look at my ta moko and driving off. After a jump lead start, we were on our way and I said to my son: "Today, we have been given a lesson in humility. To start with we woke up in a five star hotel, but one minute you can be on a stage receiving a standing ovation from 1200 people and the next you standing on the side of a road stranded because people do not want to know you.

"Remember this day Eru, this is our road trip lesson." I have often reflected on that experience and how I could have shortened our time on the side of the road. One thing I would do is change back into my suit. So what are your road trip lessons that have contributed to who you are? Hopefully, you have not been stranded on the side of the road too often or at least you have had a suit you could change into.

Ngahihi o te ra is from Te Arawa and is an international speaker, author and consultant. His book is available at Mcleods book store and the Lakeside caf in Rotorua. His website can be viewed at www.ngahibidois.com