Ngahi Bidois: Facebook and whanau safe zones

We have a rule in our household that we are not allowed to put another family member's photo on our Facebook page or in the "public arena" unless we have received their permission to do so.

That also applies to videos or, in fact, any information I say as a professional speaker or write in any of my newspaper or magazine articles.

This means there are some very funny whanau stories that I could tell you about but choose not to. I am also sure there are even funnier photos and videos of me that my tamariki could put on their Facebook pages but lucky for me, they choose not to.

We do our best to protect each other in the public arena. We have a safe zone which also applies to people who visit our home such as school friends. No permission - no go.

There is an old proverb that goes something like: "What happens on tour, stays on tour." Family time is family time and what happens in the whanau stays in the whanau. As a whanau we need to know that we can be ourselves and do and say funny or stupid things knowing the world is not going to hear about it. It has to be okay to take a risk at a new joke or task and fail in a whanau kind of way.

Whanau tend to laugh with you rather than laugh at you.

So when it comes to you and your whanau or your business, how safe do people feel around you? Do you protect them? Do they know it is okay to have a go at a joke or task - and fail anyway? Do you have permission from people for the stuff on your personal or business Facebook?

As we head into 2012 I would encourage you to establish safe zones around you. All leaders have them. They have people they can confide in and trust with their lousiest jokes or their craziest ideas. In fact, one of the secrets to leadership success is to be very careful who you share your new goals or resolutions with as you may find those people laughing at you rather than laughing with you should you fail.

I once heard about a business card that said something like "Down twice, up three times." My work with leaders indicates that every one of them failed at some stage of their leadership but got back up again through the support of those around them. They were down twice, but got up the third time - be like that person in 2012.

Ngahihi o te ra is from Te Arawa and is an international speaker, author and consultant. His website can be found at: www.ngahibidois.com