Member of the New Zealand Order of Meritfor services to women, youth and the prevention of family violence
“I was born into a violent environment. That’s all I ever knew,” Rotorua woman Kahira Rata Patricia Olley says.
Olley, 53, has turned her experience into a “life-long” journey of healing and shares her story with others to prevent intergenerational trauma from family violence.
She is the founder of a range of kaupapa (Māori approach to education) programmes for families in the Rotorua community since 2013 to provide support during or after domestic violence. Her initiatives offer a safe space for women, men and young girls to receive guidance and support.
Olley has been made a member of the New Zealand Order of Merit for services to women, youth and the prevention of family violence. She is one of 151 New Zealanders recognised in the 2024 New Year Honours list.
“It’s not about now, it’s about the future and we need to change the norms,” Olley said.
She said growing up in a violent home meant her “normal” was to “stay silent”.
“It was normal to stay in a ... violent relationship... That’s why we have intergenerational trauma.
“I’ve brought my children up where courageous conversations are a must-have. We have whānau hui when one of us are playing up or something’s not right.”
She said sharing her life story openly and honestly with others was integral to her kaupapa.
The Save Our Babies Trust was officially registered in 2019.
The support groups it offers include: All About Me Wellness, a community fitness group; Full Puku Full Potential, a free school lunch programme; Cuppa and Kōrero, a women’s support group for survivors of abuse; a teenage girl support group named Sister Two Sister; Boutique of Aroha, for free clothing; and UnSilenced, a photoshoot and runway event.
Olley said she knew stories of “hurt [and] domestic violence” that were “so bad for so long”.
“It’s not only women; I know that our tāne [men] are also victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse.”
Olley said programmes were initially created with a “wāhine [women] driven” focus but often it was men who had “shown up” to Cuppa and Kōrero.
“Holding Cuppa and Kōrero in different areas of New Zealand, it’s the men that have shown up because they don’t have any place [or] enough places to go to where they can have their voices heard.”
Olley said she was not “pro wāhine” but “pro whānau” because “the men in my life matter”.
Her initial reaction to being told she was to be made a member of the New Zealand Order of Merit was disbelief.
“I actually thought somebody had hacked into my email.”
After clicking on a letter, she realised her nomination was “legit” because “these people obviously know stuff about me and what I do,” she said with a smile.
“I have no idea who nominated me. I’m so humbled.”
Olley said after receiving the news “I sat there for just for quite a while and just pondered on it”.
“I’m not Save Our Babies. My children, my mokopuna and my husband ... they are the strength behind it.