Merepeka Raukawa-Tait: Time to stop hiding

We need to accept that unless we do something different, nothing will change.

New Zealand children will continue to die at the hands of abusive adults. They will die in their own homes and the abuse will be known to family members living in the house. Other family not living at the same address will be aware of the abuse too. Perhaps we're just over child abuse, or tired of it all. So used to reading and seeing the little faces of abused and dead children in our papers and on TV. Maybe we've become immune to their suffering.

This might then explain the muted response to Rotorua Coroner Dr Bain's inquest findings into Nia Glassie's death. The little girl who lived in our community. Her short life story shocked the nation. Comments on Dr Bain's recommendations have been mostly supportive but they needed to be louder and coming from many quarters. The Coroner heard submissions and statements, all of which painted a harrowing picture of the circumstances that led to Nia's death.

But I'm hearing more reasons why we can't act on his recommendations. I understand some are already being considered by the Government. But there is a world of difference between "considering" and putting some of the recommendation into practice. I hear "highly intrusive", from those who believe spot checks and monitoring of all 0-5 year olds should apply only to dysfunctional families. Otherwise a waste of time and resources.

I have looked at Dr Bain's recommendations and believe we should "just do them". Everyone has a role and can help. Individuals, families, schools, social service agencies and government departments - we can study his recommendations to see which ones we can support and act on.

There can be no hope of stopping the abuse and killing of our children unless we try harder and are prepared to look at all options. What Dr Bain is essentially asking for is that all our efforts be front-loaded rather than time and resources being made available and applied after the event. That makes good sense.

Initially it may take extra resources and funding but over about eight years, we should see the benefits of this closer monitoring of young children in the savings made in other areas including health, truancy, court costs etc. His recommendations should receive wide appeal from all parents, including those who know they are doing a great job and might feel unfairly targeted. These are usually the concerned parents who get upset and call for action when another child becomes a statistic.

These parents have a vital role in turning around our child abuse statistics. Certainly concentrate on the dysfunctional families first and we shouldn't be concerned if they jump up and down. These families are already putting their children at risk. But it is the wider role that all parents, solo or otherwise, can play that has real potential to make a difference. They can become well informed about child abuse, what to look out for and where to go for help locally.

I believe the majority of parents care what happens to children in this country, and not just their own. They know parenting is difficult. They have brothers, sisters and friends bringing up children. They may not admit it but they will have family members who need support. Hopefully they also realise it's not just physical violence that wounds children but verbal and emotional abuse, as well. They can get information to pass on and support their own family members and friends if needed.

We mustn't be so naive as to think it is only dysfunctional families where children are at risk. Graham Capill, former head of the Christian Heritage Party and New Zealand's preacher of morals for many years, has just been paroled after serving six years for sexual crimes on girls. Over the years I heard from many women "people have no idea what goes on behind closed doors". These were mostly women from homes we still deem "not at risk".