Merepeka Raukawa-Tait: Christmas in prison

I didn't often go to the family days held at the prison.

That was Theo's area and I always found it upsetting when it came time for families to say goodbye.

These weren't the usual visiting days, family days were held I think every three or four months. Families would bring food and the men would put on a barbecue.

It was like picnicking with your friends but you could still sense the underlying sadness. The men covered it up well for the sake of the children who were oblivious as to how mum and dad were coping. I only found out much later what the men were in for.

By that time I knew most of them so it didn't make any difference to how I acted towards them. There was one man though I never got to meet. I found his letter the other day as I went through some boxes in the garage. To this day I still regret not getting in touch with the RSA.

I'm sure, like me, they wouldn't have known there was a WWII serviceman in prison in our country who had been there over 50 years.

I told Theo I was going to contact them but he wouldn't allow me to. I was convinced this man had been locked up and the key thrown away. He had written to Theo about six months after his release and thanked him for spending time with him in the lead-up to his release.

He hadn't wanted to leave prison. Perhaps you don't when you've spent over 50 years inside but the prison authorities wanted him gone and no amount of pleading would persuade them to let him stay. He had to leave. I suspect he could have left anytime over the previous five years but they didn't pressure him then.

But he was older now and I think they didn't want an 80-year-old Maori man to die in prison.

Theo told me he was scared of the outside world, didn't know anyone or maybe didn't want to, and that prison was his home.

Theo was called in because the man refused to talk to anyone during his last 12 months in prison.

He wouldn't talk to Theo either on his first visits but over time he came out of his shell and would talk, but only in Maori.

Theo said he spoke old Maori and he eventually realised that Theo cared about what would happen to him. The authorities had managed to contact some distant family members and they came to look at the old man. I don't think they were even aware that he existed.

Theo said the meeting was very sad. Not so much for the old man but for the young men who had made the trip.

They were very affected by what they saw and heard.

They would take him to their home on his release. His letter just said they were nice but he didn't really know them and he missed prison and his family there.

Even when doing a short stint in prison families should keep in touch. I guess letter writing is a thing of the past but at least a phone call once in a while means they're not forgotten and someone is thinking of them.

Christmas is always a sad time for those in prison because it's family time and they're not home with theirs.

There is no visiting on Christmas Day but Theo was allowed one hour to quickly make the rounds visiting the men.

This was a kind gesture by the prison management. If visiting was allowed on Christmas day I'm not sure if the visits would be happy ones. It could get very distressing for all concerned, especially when the time came to say goodbye.

When I was a talkback host I would always sign off my last show before Christmas by telling the men and women in our prisons that even though they were locked up they were loved by their families, and God, and they would be remembered too at this time of the year.

The producer told me that he got many calls from people who hated what I had said on air.

But I have met some people who heard that message when they were inside and they said it helped them get through Christmas. I just wish they didn't have to be there in the first place.