Merepeka: Failure to act not an option

Thousands of people around New Zealand have already taken part in marches designed to stand against child abuse.

I won't be attending the march to be held later this month in Rotorua in memory of Moko Rangitoheriri, the 3-year-old boy who died after being subjected to an onslaught of horrific abuse by his two caregivers Tania Shailer and David Haerewa. Marches are planned in other centres around the country too.

They want to draw attention to the number of killings of New Zealand children.

They want them to stop. They are also opposed to plea bargaining. The killers were charged and convicted of the lesser crime of manslaughter not murder. I won't attend the march as I need to work to be part of the solution. I have to get on with it.

I can understand the outrage people feel whenever they read of appalling abuse often sustained over many months by children in this country. We could have been protesting on average once a month over the past decade because there has been no shortage of murdered children. Killed by those who are responsible for their care, safety and protection. I want to add for providing love too, essential during formative years. So that a child will learn to give love after knowing what it is to be loved.

Delve into the childhood of Shailer and Haerewa, there'll be no prizes for the predictable picture that emerges. Nevertheless no right thinking adult can condone abuse of children in any way, shape or form.

But getting hot and bothered won't change the fact that our abysmal child abuse record won't change unless there is a deeply held conviction that it's worth the effort to do so. We have two people in the dock who have been found guilty, but what of the others who knew or suspected something horrible was happening to Moko.

Even the suspicion that something might be amiss warrants investigation.

You can do all the police checks for suitable caregivers when children need to be placed into care but the whole living environment needs checking out too. I believe we shouldn't shy away from insisting on psychological assessments as well. And substance abuse during and after pregnancy has led to many of today's young parents being born with alcohol fetal syndrome. Their ability to parent well is greatly compromised. Normal coping mechanisms are often not present.

Change will not occur for families, who are already identified as priority families, unless there is a whole of family approach taken to building their capacity and capability.

Tinkering around the edges of the problem won't cut it. Looking for quick fixes won't cut it either.

You have seen the package before: working towards better education, housing and health outcomes. Increased financial literacy. Security through employment. Improved family relationships and improved cultural knowledge. For families to be successful, and to make the necessary changes required, solutions go beyond a single focus. Multiple and complex needs require a commitment from all sides to work together. A shared understanding of the work required.

It can't be underestimated the amount of time needed for rebuilding broken families. If we concentrate our efforts on abusing the killers we see in front of us then nothing will change. To head off the next round of child killings we must be willing to display an amazing depth of wisdom, knowledge and experience. To work alongside families to understand their needs and move heaven and earth to ensure success.

From research undertaken by Women's Refuge some years ago we know that at any given time in New Zealand there are about 300 children just hanging on. They haven't had the final biff or last boot. For their sakes failure is not an option.

- Merepeka lives in Rotorua. She writes, speaks and broadcasts to thwart the spread of political correctness.