Laura and her mum went diving in Rarotonga. PHOTO/SUPPLIED
Almost a year ago, a mountain biking crash in the Whakarewarewa forest left Laura Stuart a paraplegic. She shares what's happened since then and what life is like now.
Shortly it will be February 12 and I will turn 30. It will also be one year since life on wheels started. An auspicious date or unfortunate coincidence of events, depending on perspective.
To me that day marks the beginning of a new chapter. After a year in transition from a life where I could run and jump without thinking twice, to a largely sedentary lifestyle, my birthday is a symbol of reincarnation - a new me, a new identity and a new perspective on life.
So what has happened since my discharge?
After spending a month with my parents in Marlborough feeling totally lost and helpless I moved to Wellington with determination and hope that things could only get better.
I was quickly surrounded by health care assistants, occupational therapists, physiotherapists, psychologists and a personal trainer all focused on training me for "independence".
During the next few months I developed a routine of dragging my legs up in the morning to the bathroom, dressing, getting in the car, driving to the pool, getting out of the car, undressing, swimming, showering, heading to the gym, going home for lunch and spending the rest of the day on the couch recovering from exhaustion (and frequently hosting therapists).
I was on track for getting stronger and more confident.
Then in August something funny started happening. I started losing my grip doing chin-ups. Squeezing the shampoo bottle became an effort. Finally turning the car engine on became near impossible.
After three weeks of doctors' visits and trips to A&E, an MRI showed that a cyst had developed in my spine near the base of my neck. If the doctors didn't operate I could lose the function of my right hand altogether. Fortunately for me (but not for the other guy) there weren't enough beds at the intensive care unit of Wellington hospital so a surgery scheduled for the following Monday couldn't go ahead and I took the patient's place.
I woke up from surgery in so much pain the nurse had to give me ketamine to relax my muscles.
Post-surgery was a low point in my journey. I was exhausted, my strength had disappeared and I felt utterly alone. I rolled through October like a half-conscious zombie going from one appointment to the next, smiling when appropriate whilst feeling miserable on the inside.
Thankfully November provided me with a convenient distraction and a new enthusiasm for life.
I spent a week on a specially tailored Outward Bound course. Having done Outward Bound almost a decade ago and Marlborough Sounds being my spiritual home, I was in my element.
I learnt to kayak and sail, slept in the bushes under a tarp and even had a stint at rock climbing. I returned to Wellington with regained confidence and motivation.
Since then I've tried not to let my legs hold me back. I spent the Christmas break in Rarotonga where I tried scuba diving and rode the anti-clockwise round-island bus.
I attended a wedding in Waipara and danced at the reception in my brother's arms (I'm using the term "dance" very loosely, one might call it the ragdoll impersonation). I started my new job at the Ministry of Primary Industries.
And my very own wheelchair has arrived just in time for my first 6.5km race in February!
The last year has been the most trying year of my life.
But looking over the things I have experienced and learnt, I hope I have become a better person because of it. I moved to Rotorua to pursue my career and passion for mountain biking but left with a greater appreciation for my family, friends and community.
I feel more grounded, more humble and have a stronger sense of the important things in life.
Now I need to rediscover my identity. I am no longer Laura the mountain biker who spends every spare moment in the forest. So who am I? This year will be my year of rediscovery.