Kevin Page: Wall a tall order as Spider Man flees

The recent punch-up between youths in the central city begs a question: What would you do if you saw something like that?

Obviously, the boys in blue wouldn't be advocating putting yourself in danger by stepping in to break up a fight but what about chasing after a thief?

Not that long ago, while in our central city after a gym session, favourite coffee in hand, I saw a fleet-footed teen sprint off down Haupapa St towards Kuirau Park with what looked like a woman's purse.

In a split second, I'd made the decision to give chase. Besides, I'd finished my latte and I had no immediate appointments. So away I went.

About five seconds into the chase and 50m down the road all the adrenalin has packed up and gone home for tea. Doubt settles in. Should I bother? What do I do if I catch him? Could I get hurt?

By this stage, I spot the fleeing teen running up the back alley by Winz. I'm reinvigorated and any doubts disappear.

My mind wonders as I run. Lucky I didn't have that muffin with the coffee, that would've cost me precious seconds. Wonder if there will be a car bonnet I can slide over like they do in chases in the movies? Always wanted to do that.

I arrive at the Amohia St corner and walk round nonchalantly.

Suddenly he's there. Ambling along. He stares straight at me. I stare back and smile. I'm 5m away. Can I grab him?

Now, I don't know whether my smile is unattractive or my fluorescent yellow lycra top with fluorescent blue shorts made him think some lost participant from a gay parade had plans for him but he took off again.

I gave chase.

Off down Pukuatua St we went. I decided I should shout something like they do in the movies. "Freeze dirtbag!" didn't seem appropriate so I yelled "Stop!". It didn't work. So I yelled "Stop you #%1*8@!!!".

That didn't work either but it did get the attention of some people standing around and like volunteers at the marathon they pointed me in the direction he went, round the back of a building on the corner of Ranolf and Pukuatua streets.

I sprinted round the other way and ran into the carpark and there he was. Not so much trapped but certainly with limited options. Decision time.

He can give up. Unlikely. He can try running again. Unlikely too, he's blowing pretty hard. So what's left? Oh s**t, I think we're going to have a fight!

Now, I'm not a little guy. I like to think I could defend myself if I needed. But if the chips were down could I? I'm not as young as I was. I don't mind admitting there was a very real danger of a new colour being added to my fluorescent blue shorts.

It seemed appropriate to advance at that stage so I took a deep breath and stepped forward.

I'd like to say it did the trick. I'd like to say he broke down and confessed to hundreds of crimes, the assassination of JFK and admitted being responsible for the Novopay debacle. He didn't.

What he did do was climb up a near vertical wall slash fence and run off across a roof. I tried to give chase but climbing ain't my thing. I'd still be there now, looking like a sweaty grapefruit stuck on the wall.

So he got away. Of course I reported it all to the police. Strangely, even though I was just 5m from him, I couldn't remember his face.

I'm told it's all to do with the adrenalin racing round in your system.

Wish it could be bottled. Wouldn't mind a little bit just to try and slide over a car bonnet.