Kevin Page: New company brand is hot to dot

Chief executive Jane Hastings revealed the new NZME. brand recently, almost with a whoop and holler. Photo / File

I quite like Americans. I know they've got a few crazies over there like the look-at-me Kardashian family and all those people who lay bare their foibles (a foible isn't an obscene body part, by the way) on the Jerry Springer Show but in the main I find them quite infectious.

I'm particularly a fan of those who whoop and holler when something good happens. Apart from the prat who yells out "get in the hole" every time Tiger Woods tees off.

I have a friend who is from the good old US of A. I've often wondered whether she lets out a whoop with accompanying fist pump every time she finishes peeling the spuds or doing the company GST return.

I reckon everyone should be given an American they can wheel out for times when a bit of a lift is required.

I think that's what has happened in the company I work for NZME.

A couple of weeks ago we were called something else but now we've had a change of name and all parts of the company have been pulled together to form NZME. This stands for New Zealand Media and Entertainment. The vitally important dot at the end shows you, our beloved public, that we are also the experts when it comes to the digital world. Think dotcom.

Er, actually don't think that in case you get the wrong idea involving a portly German. Just think dot and trust me. We know what we're doing.

We are headed in our new endeavours by a new leader, affectionately known as Hurricane Jane, who has travelled the country at speed of late spreading the gospel via company announcement functions.

Now in the past, company announcements have tended to be stuck on the noticeboard (showing my age) or more latterly emailed.

Since Jane has been in charge - I feel with Jane you can refer to her on a first name basis without appearing disrespectful or risking your pay-packet disappearing (I guess I'll find out next week!) - we've had teleconferences, live streaming and functions with full-on video displays and a bit of entertainment.

And we've had lots of Americans. At least, I think they were Americans.

They were whooping and hollering when Jane welcomed the various sections of our business at the great reveal recently.

Actually, come to think of it, I don't think they were Americans at all. It was the guys from radio and Grab One, now happily linked with us publishing types. They were certainly a vibrant, enthusiastic and upbeat lot. Enough to make at least one old newspaper cynic think "watch this space - things are happening".

I commented as such to Mrs P, as I discussed the arrival of Jane and the all-encompassing approach of NZME. (that's a dot, not the end of the sentence) at our nightly sit and chat.

Pressed on the issue over a mug of Bushells' finest, I explained we had something for everyone in the country and we could deliver it over a "multitude of platforms".

Being all under one brand, there would be "cross collaboration" on campaigns etc, etc.

I stopped when I realised I had swallowed an old civil service press release which must have been laying around. I needed to explain it in terms Mrs P could relate to.

"As just one example, let's just say at the moment Briscoes reaches a lot of people with its advertising. What this means is they can now reach more people, easier."

"And they'll probably have more sales?" she suggested hopefully. I was beginning to think she'd missed the point but, as she took my empty mug back to the kitchen, I swear I heard her give a little American "whoop" accompanied by a fist pump.

Kevin Page has been a journalist for 34 years. He hasn't made enough money to retire after writing about serious topics for years so he's giving humour a shot instead.