Jo Raphael: Family violence victims must not feel they have to go back

Families who are victims of violence must be given every opportunity to leave their abusers, writes Jo Raphael. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

The region's housing crisis cannot be highlighted in a more distressing and heartbreaking way.

We reported this week that women are being forced, by the lack of safe housing, to return to their violent partners and face ongoing abuse.

Mihi James, a family lawyer and deputy chairwoman of Waiariki Women's Refuge, says a woman recently got a protection order and escaped with her children from her abusive situation, but felt forced to return to her abuser because there was nowhere to go.

James says beatings are becoming more severe and longer and women are being trapped and locked in their homes for "days on end".

This is sickening.

Not only are these women having to endure the physical abuse but we know that there are other ways these abusers control their victims.

Emotional, sexual and financial abuse are common and result in the victim believing they are nothing and don't deserve better.

Now imagine these women finally gathering what must be an enormous amount of courage to seek help, get protection orders, scrape enough money together, and get their children out, only to have to go back because there's nowhere else to go.

And then face the wrath of their abusers.

"Abusers know the city is in a housing crisis...their victims are stuck. Victims either stay in the relationship, or they will commit to poverty for the sake of themselves or tamariki."

Chilling words from Rotorua Salvation Army Corps officer Kylie Overbye.

She says she is seeing more women, and some men, suffer potentially life-threatening injuries.

The Government's initiative to contract 12 motels for the exclusive use of emergency housing for 200 families with children with full wraparound support to house homeless families must include domestic violence victims.

Every effort must be made to make sure these victims do not go back to their abusers.

The Ministry of Social Development has said this is possible if there were no suitable options available.

We must make sure that families who are trying to escape be made aware of all there is out there to help them, and to help them take advantage of it.