Lake Taupō Hospice family support team leader Josie Harris (left) and bereavement coordinator Sharon Simpson sit beside the remembrance candle. Photo / Rachel Canning
Lake Taupō Hospice family support team leader Josie Harris (left) and bereavement coordinator Sharon Simpson sit beside the remembrance candle. Photo / Rachel Canning
Prior to Covid-19 it was unimaginable that a loved one would die and no funeral be held.
Every year Lake Taupō Hospice and Taupō Funeral Services hold a remembrance service for those who died during the past 12 months. This year they are extending an invitation to the entire community who wish to mourn friends and relatives who died during lockdown.
Lake Taupō Hospice family support team leader Josie Harris said the community has been impacted by unforeseen circumstances and this has led to feelings of grief and loss for many and varied reasons.
"This service is for anyone who has the need to mourn. It may be the death of a loved one, loss of a job, inability of family to be home for support," said Josie.
Taupō Funeral Services co-owner Kirstine McIntosh placed an advertisement in the local newspapers with a list of all the names of those who died during Covid-19 alert levels 3 and 4. Local newspapers were not printed during lockdown and in many cases there was no death notice. Kirstine said she thought it was important there was public record of their death.
Kirstine says she hopes the Hearts and Hope Remembrance Service will provide some peace of mind for those left behind. She says being in a room full of other grieving people will touch them personally and the grieving person will know they are not alone.
Lake Taupō Hospice bereavement co-ordinator Sharon Simpson said they will do a count on the door, with enough seating for 100 people at social distancing in The Founders Chapel of Remembrance that can seat 230. She said people will also be asked to sign in at the door for contact tracing or to scan the QR code poster.
A remembrance service is planned for families denied an important part of the grieving process where loved ones died during lockdown.
Sharon said about 40 people died in Taupō between March 25 and May 13. Funerals and tangihanga were not allowed during alert level 4 and only 10 people were allowed at alert level 3.
"Many people are holding on to their grief because close family members living overseas cannot be here to share the mourning process.
"I go into people's homes and they have the urns [containing their loved one's ashes]. They say 'she is sitting here until the family comes," said Sharon.
Gathering together to mourn and share grief is a way of connecting and healing, said Josie.
"A big group of people grieving together, everyone has a commonality in that they have all lost something."
She said someone may be grieving not because someone died, it could be the loss of an adult child's presence if the adult child lives overseas, or missing significant birthdays or anniversaries.
"These losses are not to be minimised. In some ways we have lost the way of life as we know it," said Josie.
Sharon says one of her clients is mourning missing the anniversary of the death of her daughter-in-law who died last year in Australia, aged 38.
"The one-year anniversary of her death was in lockdown. She left behind a husband and two small children. Her family had agreed to meet up and none of it could happen. Everyone was traumatised all over again. The grandmother was not able to provide support to her grandchildren.
"The son was at the time of his life when he needed his parents the most and they weren't there," said Sharon.
Josie says talking helps get through grief. Families of hospice patients are offered counselling as part of the service, and grief counselling pamphlets and information will be available at the service.
Taupō celebrant Lianne Fraser will take the non-denominational service and there will be karakia, singing and candle lighting.
Hearts & Hope Remembrance Service will be held at 2pm on Sunday, August 30, at the Founders Chapel of Remembrance, 117 Rickit St, Taupō. All welcome, seating available for 100 people and social distancing measures will be in place. For more information see Facebook page @LakeTaupoHospice.
