Honest conversations, art, music and the beach are now what keep Tiria Kiel-Vercoe well. Photo / Stephen Parker
Warning: This article is about suicide and may be distressing for some readers.
Tiria Kiel-Vercoe first attempted suicide at age 7.
It was the first time, but it wasn't the last.
She was born in Whakatāne but was adopted by a Rotorua whānau.
As a young girl, Kiel-Vercoe thought she was adopted out because "they didn't want me".
Now she wonders what she was thinking.
"It was a pretty shocking thing but I sort of just buried it and left it ... but that didn't work and I had that deep dark side of me that just wasn't going away," she said, speaking out after the release of fresh suicide statistics.
It was revealed this week that New Zealand suicide deaths have reached their highest level since records began 12 years ago. There were 685 suicides in the year to June 30 - 17 more than last year, when there were 668.
As a teenager, Kiel-Vercoe turned to drugs and alcohol to douse her feelings. Counselling didn't work for her because she didn't feel like professionals understood what she was experiencing.
"I couldn't speak to my mum because I knew it would hurt her ... It was the same with my siblings."
She was eventually able to tell her partner Daniel, who is now her husband and "knows everything".
He has been her "go-to" ever since, but it was a tough start for them.
"I would be triggered by anything, I would change completely, just from a scene on the television... and I would go straight back into that darkness."
Kiel-Vercoe's honest conversations with Daniel led to honest conversations with others.
Outside of that, music, art and going to the beach are what help her stay in a healthy headspace, "no matter what".
Read more:
• New Zealand suicides highest since records began
She is part of Rotorua's newly formed Patua te Taniwha Trust, through which she has continued to talk about her worst times, and ways out.
"Since speaking about it, it's like I've been free... every light is brighter," she told the Rotorua Daily Post.
Her message to others considering taking their lives is that "in loneliness and darkness, you can make it through".
"Life is so worth it, and sadness is only temporary."
She said the trust's weekly meetings, that discuss mental health issues and approaches, as well as suicide bereavement, were open to anyone.
"We aren't professionals, but we are human."
WHERE TO GET HELP:
If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111.
OR IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE:
• 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• https://www.lifeline.org.nz/services/suicide-crisis-helpline
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202
OPINION: An unidentified woman vividly described her trip to the Pink and White Terraces.