Felix Desmarais: Why I'm sparing a thought for those working today

Many people will enjoy a day off today but service people may not. Photo / Alamy Stock

COMMENT:

It was my first day on the job and that nightmare scenario I'd played out in my head the night before became reality.

A high-end restaurant with clientele who take themselves quite seriously. Sixteen years old, nervous and in my first service job, I turned up to work on time (that is, five minutes early, because to me, that is on time) and I was given a whirlwind rundown on what was expected of me. There was a large table of businessmen and it would be all hands on deck to make sure they had everything they needed without delay. It was high stakes.

Drinks were ordered and I was handed a tray laden with bottled beers.

It was heavy, but I was told I had to hold it with one hand because that was how it was done, and the beers had to come out quickly, lest one of the men be beerless a minute longer than the others.

I approached the first man at the table, standing behind him, and took one beer off the tray to place beside him.

Physics has never been my strong point, nor has balance, and taking that one beer off the precariously handled tray, combined with me leaning between the guests, and the beers toppled down the back of the man.

His crisp white business shirt was sopping wet with cold beer and his seat was sodden. Of course, he was irate and I was humiliated. I can still see it happening in slow motion almost 20 years later and I still cringe.

The service jobs I worked were some of the hardest jobs I've ever had, hard physically and sometimes mentally. People expect you to be somewhere between exceptional and perfect.

About five years after the first beer incident I had a hospitality role assisting functions at a large venue and found myself again holding a tray laden with beers, alongside several colleagues all doing the same thing. Businesspeople would enter the room and select a drink. My arms began to shake holding the weight of the tray and I remember mentally pleading with the guests to take the beers from my tray. I must have been grinning at them like a Cheshire cat.

Luckily that time my arms held out until the tray was clear but I hadn't forgotten The First Beer Incident. I was scarred for life.

As a barista, more regularly than you would believe, we would have people come into our shop just at closing time demanding several coffees. By that point, the machine has been cleaned and creates only vile coffees laced with a cleaning agent. If I were that person I would probably accept the polite denial from the staff, and see if there was another place open.

I wouldn't yell at people who are paid the minimum wage for something that isn't their decision.

In the same job, it always delighted me how many burly men would order a mocha - one of the most sickly sweet coffees, barely a coffee in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with men or whoever else enjoying a dessert-like coffee. But we would automatically ask people who ordered mochas if they wanted marshmallows - some people like them and others don't. Most of these macho men, having just ordered chocolate syrup in their coffee, would look so affronted and offended that they would have something so frivolous and fanciful as a marshmallow in their coffee. The dissonance still makes me laugh.

A lot of us will have a day off today, but those in service jobs may not. While some may be mourning during this one-off public holiday, many will just take it as a rest from work and seek to enjoy it by visiting a cafe, restaurant or shop. There'll be service people there to help make that happen, and they'll smile even though they're not going to get their day off.

I reckon if they can't have a break, we should give them a break and show a little consideration for their service. It doesn't cost a thing - although a little tip is always most welcome.

Felix Desmarais is a journalist and mostly-former stand-up comedian who sold out very cheaply.