The exchange is so familiar it’s basically a Christmas carol. Sleigh-bells-aringin’ ding-a-ling-a-ling yes time is a-linear-a ringa-dinga-ling.
Nonetheless, the refrain is always accurate. It seems every year I get worse at getting organised. Suddenly it’s December 23 and I haven’t bought any presents. I think by November we’re all just hanging on, desperately, swinging miserably from a bedraggled bough of holly, holding on through the last sluggish weeks of the year. Our heads are elsewhere and we’re just waiting for the psychological renewal New Year brings.
So it’s easy to lose track of time, especially when you’re just - to some extent - biding it.
Mercifully in my family, we do a not-very-secret Santa draw, where the adults put their names in a (conveniently online and automated) draw. The budget is set at $100 (lifted from $50 in 2019, blissfully unaware of the impending cost of living crises) and we all get one present, usually the specific one we ask for, and buy one.
We can spend as much or as little as we like on the kids, and I think I speak for my entire family when I say when it comes to them I have very little self-control. I take great pleasure in spoiling my nephews rotten. The 3-year-old has just grasped birthdays so he’s calling it “my Christmas” and to be honest, he’s not wrong.
The secret Santa draw is a good system if you stick to the rules but I struggle. I love giving gifts, and I’m notoriously good at it in my family. But there’s no magic to it, my trick is to give experiences, not things if I can help it. Experiences give us treasured memories and those are utterly priceless.
One of my best works was for my mum. Middle class with an extensive collection of cushions, throws and Annabel Langbein cookbooks, I know her secret: she’s a petrolhead from Pukekohe and there’s no going back from that. For her birthday one year, I found a deal for her to go stunt driving. My sister and I blindfolded her and took her to the track, and she nearly cried with excitement. It was the absolute best watching her doing burnouts and getting air on four wheels.
Much better than some fancy soap, a candle, and a couple of tea towels.
Another way is to make things, and lots of blogs and articles at Christmas time make out like this is a cheap option. How ridiculous. I’ve seen promoted posts about gingerbread houses as cheap gifts. Even on the cheap side, that will set you back about $12.
Here’s an idea, buy something for $12 and save yourself the hassle of getting icing all over yourself only to be rewarded with the challenge of somehow manipulating wrapping paper over your precariously constructed bread-based dwelling.
At least it’s cheaper than gib I suppose.
There is an even cheaper thing you can give that is just as dear though - your time and undivided attention.
But anyway. Can you believe it’s December, already?
- Felix Desmarais is a journalist and mostly-former stand-up comedian.
