Father's Day: He's always been there for me

Rotorua Daily Post reporter Adriana Weber

It's taken me years to realise there's a difference between a dad and a father - I have both.

Like many people, I have a split family.

My biological father lives on the other side of the world, while my stepdad - my dad - lives here in Rotorua and has helped raise me since my mum and I moved to New Zealand from Switzerland more than 15 years ago.

As many people with two fathers would know, you sometimes feel torn between the two.

When I was a snarky brat of a teenager, dressed in dark, edgy T-shirts with an attitude to match, I often dropped the "I-don't-have-to-listen-you-because-you're-not-my-real-dad" bombshell on my stepdad.

Little did I know how hurtful those comments were, or how vastly my attitude would change over the years that followed.

I've spent very little time with my biological father.

If you asked me what his favourite colour, his favorite food, band, sport - his favourite anything was - I honestly wouldn't have a clue.

In fact the closest we got to bonding was on the skifield, but even that was filled with awkward silences and tears of frustration.

He doesn't speak a word of English, and my Swiss German is less than perfect, which makes getting to know each other very difficult.

Whereas my stepdad ... excuse the cliche, but we get on like a house on fire.

We tell each other jokes, have a laugh together and listen to the same music (though he doesn't share my obsession with 90s pop bands).

Over the years my stepdad, along with my mum, who is my best friend, has done everything for me.

They have always been there for me and have been the most amazing, caring, generous and supportive parents anyone could ask for.

They were there to watch me perform in school plays, all missing teeth, scruffy hair and pigtails.

Just like they were there to watch me as a 10-year-old pretend to be a newsreader on TV, with a hairbrush in hand.

They were there a year ago when I graduated from university with a degree, to tell me they were proud of me.

All this time, my father was on the other side of the world. He was distant, when my stepdad was close.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very lucky to know my biological father, I hold no ill feelings towards him and I one day hope to have a better relationship with him.

But this Father's Day I won't be celebrating the man who made me, but the man who raised me, who supported me and who was always there for me.