Editorial: Tributes will help grieving

Grief is like an illness. It makes you feel so bad, at times you can't function.

But unlike most illnesses, it doesn't disappear after a few days. It can be with you for a long time - sometimes forever.

Finding ways to cope with losing that special person in your life is the only way of making the grief manageable.

When my father died suddenly in 2003, I had to deal with losing someone very close to me for the first time.

It seemed so unfair to have lost someone who I saw as the best father in the world when he was only 53. There were so many things he didn't have the opportunity to do. At the time, I didn't know how I'd get over it.

But what eventually helped was knowing how much support we had and knowing how much Dad was loved.

In those days, that was passed on in person as well as through letters, cards and the odd email.

I kept all those written words, as well as his obituary in the local newspaper, in a shoebox and would often take them out and re-read them. I still do from time to time. These tributes to Dad mean the world to me.

Today, paying tribute to someone who has died has become so much easier - and at times prolific - thanks to Facebook.

When someone dies, often the online tributes start to flow.

This week, a tribute page was set up for Rotorua teenager Mihinui Tamiana who died in a fire at the weekend and, within hours, it attracted thousands of Facebook "likes".

Other tributes were posted, including songs dedicated to her on YouTube.

A discussion on the Rotorua Daily Post Facebook page was critical of some who paid tribute, calling it "OTT" (over the top), "rude" and "strange" for people who didn't know her to be paying their respects.

I couldn't disagree more.

I'm sure as time goes on, Mihinui's family and friends will scroll through those tributes and be reminded what a special teenager she was.