Editorial: Home abuse scary

Domestic violence isn't always physical

One in three women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lives.

This statistic scares me. As a woman, I look at my circle of friends and if this statistic is correct some of them would be subject to some form of domestic abuse and that makes me sick.

What is also disturbing is that only 20 per cent of abuse cases are reported. I would hate to think that those closest to me would be too afraid to speak up about what is happening to them.

During November the anti-domestic violence White Ribbon campaign is in full swing. The campaign culminates in White Ribbon Day tomorrow.

Domestic violence isn't always physical. Bruising or marks are not always obvious. Sometimes abuse can be mental or emotional, which can also be just as damaging.

Imagine that bright bubbly woman who has stopped going out with her friends, or who hides away at home. She is a shadow of her former self and doesn't know how to escape. The situation becomes worse when children are involved.

Even if the children are not subject to abuse, they know what is going on in their home. They, too, experience the anxiety and fear, and there is every risk that behaviour then becomes normal to them. Is this what we want in our society? Do we want to teach our children about everything they shouldn't be doing?

When children are born it is their parents' hope for them to be happy and healthy, but as they grow their parents want them to become decent people; people who care about others and are considerate and compassionate.

But after being subjected to or witnessing violence in the home, it takes a special kind of person to overcome those behaviours.

The White Ribbon website states psychological and emotional violence is commonly experienced by women and children. It also contains some other horrifying statistics, including that on average, 14 women are killed by their partners or ex-partners in New Zealand each year.

It also states that in New Zealand more than 3500 convictions are recorded against men each year for assaults on women. No violence is tolerable. The sooner that message gets through the better.