Editorial: Bed sharing raises alarm

As a first time mum I was horrified when hospital midwives suggested I pop my unsettled newborn into bed with me.

He was barely a day old, and I'd heard all the stories about bed-sharing and sudden infant death syndrome. There was no way I was willing to take the risk.

Now almost 4, he's only ever slept in my bed a handful of times when he's been sick or scared.

When my daughter arrived a couple years later I was equally as against bed-sharing.

Then came the exhaustion.

Faced with a baby who wanted to feed every hour or two in those early weeks, after the third or fourth wake-up I'd often feed her in bed with me - and would wake up hours later with her still in my bed.

I read plenty on the "safe" ways to co-sleep. I convinced myself that because I wasn't drinking or smoking, and was co-sleeping "safely" that I wouldn't become a statistic.

I clutched at any straw I could - but the reality was I was sleep-deprived to a point I had never imagined and I was willing to do whatever I could to get some shut-eye.

It's that "by the grace of God" kind of stuff. In retrospect I look back now and count my lucky stars nothing bad happened.

Studies like the one carried out by the University of Auckland which dispel the commonly-held thought that bed-sharing is only dangerous if you're drinking or smoking need to be publicised. I know the exhaustion that comes with a baby that doesn't sleep.

What I don't know - thankfully - is that feeling of blame when something goes wrong while sharing a bed. I know I'd have never forgiven myself if the worst had happened and the more publicity around the dangers, the better.

There can be no ambiguity for exhausted parents to snatch at.