Paula Rogers isn't so much living, as existing.
But now, the Rotorua multiple sclerosis sufferer has a glimmer of hope that life will get better after an announcement Pharmac will, as of last Friday, fund two new revolutionary drugs.
While there are no guarantees that Ms Rogers will be accepted for the drugs, or that they will work for her, the news was a welcome birthday present for the 47-year-old mum of two.
Natalizumab (trading as Tysabri) and fingolimod (Gilenya) will immediately help hundreds of MS patients diagnosed with relapsing remitting forms of the debilitating and incurable condition.
It's been 14 years since Ms Rogers was diagnosed with the condition and in the past few years worsening symptoms have taken away her ability to work.