Bullied teens regain control through boxing

Bullying may only take few minutes to do, but the effects on some victims can last for decades. Reporter Dana Kinita explores how widespread it is in Rotorua and what is being done to try to stop it.

Name calling, hair pulling and having rocks thrown is just some of the treatment a Rotorua high school girl has had to face from bullies.

The Year 8 student, who does not want to be named, said she had always been picked on since intermediate school. She is slender, pretty and quick to smile - giving her peers no obvious cause why she should be targeted.

"I always hid in the corner at school during the lunch breaks, I hated going. I was always ringing up my mum and dad asking them to pick me up nearly every day," she said.

"People would come up to me wanting to fight, I've had my hair pulled, pushed on to the road and had rocks thrown at the back of my head. I've also had my Facebook page hacked and someone had written that I wanted to go out with other people's boyfriends and was asking them for sex."

The cyber bullying contributed to the teenager becoming withdrawn, which was not easy for her parents to witness and they were quick to take action.

Police were called after she was bombarded and harassed through text messages.

"She loved school but she didn't want to go anymore," her mother said.

"She lost a lot of self-confidence and her skin was breaking out because of the stress."

Her father said they weren't going to tolerate the behaviour their daughter was subjected to.

"I was furious, I went straight into the school and confronted it to nip it in the bud," he said.

"I wanted the girls responsible to be held accountable for their actions and the school and teachers have listened to our concerns."

It's been through boxing that the 13-year-old has been able to rediscover a confidence she thought she had lost and is finding school life much easier. She and other teenagers who have been bullied have found solace at the Rotovegas Boxing Club led by head coach Aaron Warren.

"It's a common problem. We work in schools and we asked how many of them had been bullied and up to 60 per cent in a class said they had," Mr Warren said.

"We usually find out that half of those that put their hands up have admitted they have been bullies and when you get deeper they talk about being bullied too, so it's this cycle."

Mr Warren said boxing was helping his students to learn discipline and self control.

"We're not teaching them to punch other kids. Times have changed when you would give a kid a one-two [punch] to gain respect.

"We're trying to mentor them to believe in themselves and that words don't need to affect them.

"I was bullied myself. I grew up in Christchurch, there were 750 Pakeha and two Maori - me and my brother - imagine the grief I went through at 13-years-old," he said.

"Then we moved back home here and we were called 'baldhead' and that's when I started to do judo and won a national title. I loved it, I was 14 had been bullied and had my photo in the newspaper with my hands in the air saying I was the New Zealand champion.

"Later on in life I caught up with the bullies and asked them why they put me through all that and they were apologetic.

"It was only through my training and the great example that I had from my father that I was able to stay mentally tough."

Schools recognise bullying is a problem they will struggle to completely eliminate, however, they believe they are on the right path to trying to prevent it.

Kaitao Middle School principal Rory O'Rourke said they were one of the first to join the Rotorua Daily Post's Stop The Hate campaign in 2012.

Mr O'Rourke said the biggest influence had been the implementation of the Positive Behaviour for Learning (PB4L) which had been in place for four years now.

"Last year it was awesome in the reduction of any sort of behaviour, we have a very strong values programme, three groups are taking part in the Roots of Empathy programme so we are being very proactive against bullying," he said.

The school also had a bully box, where a pupil can anonymously write down the bullying incident and who it involved, which it cleared and dealt with each week.

"We also have guest speakers come in and talk, with [youth speaker] Simon Clegg talking about anti-bullying and the Bully Free Bro co-ordinator. In the past we had a restorative process where both families get together, which is how we deal with most of our issues and have found it extremely helpful."

Rotorua Lakes High School principal Bruce Walker said they wanted their students to speak out.

"Our policy is to believe and investigate. We encourage our students to complain, that they have nothing to be ashamed of and we will make sure no one knows they've complained, it's the same policy for our parents who report," Mr Walker said.

"We are finding the most difficult to deal with is electronic bullying. It's so prevalent and what is difficult is that 90 per cent of what happens is outside school but they bring it into school."

Mr Walker said they advise parents straight away to call the police.

"Girls and boys are doing it both equally, I don't think students stop and think how hurtful it can be and it follows them [online] 24 hours a day. It's different now, name calling and fighting we can deal with but it's hard to monitor and address the cyber bullying."

Who to call for help
- Youth services: (06) 3555 906
- Youthline: 0800 376 633
- Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (4pm to 6pm weekdays)
- Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (noon to midnight)
- Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (24-hour service)
- Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
- CASPER Suicide Prevention: 0508 CASPER