Brian Holden: Pam was a most unwelcome visitor

People walk along the shore where debris is scattered in Port Vila, Vanuatu, during Cyclone Pam.

As you read this, we will have had a taste of Cyclone Pam in its last gasps of energy as it now succumbs to the cooler waters well southeast of our shores.

Thank goodness that we're tucked away here inland and comparatively safe from such vicious elements of nature. The category 5 tropical cyclone, was as fierce as they get and the destruction that it has caused will take years to rebuild. With dozens of lives believed to have been lost on the islands of Vanuatu and parts of the area virtually flattened, it's hard to comprehend the power of such a ravaging beast.

Tropical storms, cyclones, hurricanes and typhoons, although named differently depending where they are in the world, describe the same disastrous scenarios. We're talking here about massive low pressure circulation systems in the atmosphere, producing strong winds rotating clockwise in our hemisphere.

A tropical cyclone has no fronts as such and is characterised by a well-defined "eye" - the low pressure centre, spiral rain bands and fierce winds. Typically, the birth of such a beast originates over tropical or subtropical waters, rotating as it strengthens, fuelled by heat released when moist air rises and the water vapour it contains condenses. For this, the sea temperature must be at least 27C. Fortunately, tropical cyclones can be predicted several days in advance, giving those likely to be in its path time to batten down the hatches as best they can and hunker down.

The naming system of tropical cyclones has been used since the 1940s, with each region of the globe being assigned a specific table with names in alphabetical order, alternating between male and female.

It's certainly amazing how the smallest of things grow into monsters. After doing up the car, we were looking forward to a couple of weeks of expense-free bliss. But not so. A second wave of restoration activity has resulted in an army of tradesmen descending on the And Another Thing premises and leaving their bills as they depart. It all began with a seized bathroom basin tap. No problem, I thought, having recently replaced the spindle assembly in the other one. But this time around I was informed that spindles for that particular Methven range had been discontinued. Oh well, time anyway to upgrade from the retro brass look and fit something more modern. Of course, that would mean the old three-hole eggshell blue basin gets the heave-ho to make way for white with the chrome single action faucet system. None of this is really going to improve the bathroom appearance, however, without a new vanity top, tiles and mirror. So out with the measuring tape, then off down town we go, with shopping list in hand. With the upstairs bathroom crying out "me as well," all of these fittings are times two. We've worn a track between our address and the plumbing and bathroom suppliers.

I'm sure that lady who greets customers as they enter Bunnings is musing over her deja vu experience as I come and go. Still, I must say that the bathroom updates have been well overdue and, with someone about to take up residence in our home while we head overseas on holiday, the pressure is really on to get it finished. But the bath and showers will just have to wait until we get back. This whole saga started with a single sticking tap.

Maybe it's just our house - or are others experiencing frequent phone calls where, upon answering, the caller hangs up? Initially being one to give my name when answering, I'm now inclined just to say "Hello", prompting the caller to respond " which is surely what you'd expect them to do. But often there is just silence. Why? Sometimes after saying "Hello" I hold and wait several seconds for a voice at the other end, only to hear a click and the line goes dead. Last week, after a hearing a heavily accented "Hallouw", I responded likewise " "Hallouw". After a brief pause the caller hung up. Pointless. Am I being bugged, stalked or just harassed? I'd like to know and would welcome an explanation for this silly behaviour.

-Brian Holden has lived in Rotorua for most of his life and has been writing his weekly column for 11 years.