Brian Holden: Our Guy Fawkes plot proves a boomer

The fireworks were awesomely big 'uns this year. Perhaps we'll stand well back and let the experts do it in future.

Last week, despite public condemnation, a small group of us celebrated Guy Fawkes in a backyard. Who knows, it could be the last opportunity, so ... oh, to heck with it, why not?

Down to The Warehouse I went, to check out the pyrotechnic goodies on offer. Wowee, there was a whole aisle of assorted fireworks guarded by three staff members, with fire extinguishers on standby - just in case. "No big stuff [yeah, right]," I told the obliging staff. "Just a few fizzing splashes of colour will do the trick, thanks".

Ten minutes later, I skipped out the door with a couple of tightly sealed boxes labelled "Show Time Family Assortment", plus a couple of extra packets of sparklers for good measure.

Opening the Pandora's Box in my basement revealed the fireworks were nothing like those of yesteryear. No Roman Candles emitting a soft golden glow, no Mount Vesuvius that erupted in a metre-high whoosh of white light for 10 seconds. None of that tame stuff at all.

"Gosh, these are BIG" was my first reaction on opening the lid. With imposing names such as Total Storm, Grand Slammer, Mars Attack and Fury, I could see this was not going to be night for wusses. Plenty of bang for our buck. But, as it turned out, the entertainment highlight on the afternoon of Guy Fawkes Night for many was the free deluge of rain and hail.

Saturday night was the big one for us. Without incident we had a boomer time with our fireworks, and came away all the merrier for it. I will say, though, that when looking at that fireworks box sitting innocently on my workbench, I thought that if that lot did accidentally go off, the house could go up in flames with it.

I'm always super careful with that sort of thing, but all the same, the potential for disaster was there. Likewise with lighting them on the night. By the letter, we stuck to the rules.

There have been horrific accidents with fireworks, even when all care has been taken.

Indeed, from next year on we may find ourselves leaving the pyrotechnic shows to the trained experts - who can also get it wrong occasionally.

And now for something completely different - leaky buildings.

The results of seemingly ongoing poor design and tradesmanship continue to haunt us. Like The Gardens School in Manurewa which was built only 13 years ago, which is about to be demolished and rebuilt at a cost $22 million.

Needless to say, the staff and pupils of the decile 10 school are going to be pushed from pillar to post during the rebuild, which is planned to start around this time next year, with completion two years after that. The school's hall will be the only building to remain, but even that is going to get a makeover.

Without intending to be too nosy about what has been going on at The Gardens School, I took the liberty of scrolling through the Property Update page on their public website.

Ooh la la, not only have they suffered with leaky buildings, the school has had major issues relating to sewer lines, storm-water drainage, sprinkler calculations, air-extraction systems, ground water, electrical and fire faults, cracks and overall poor workmanship in the original build. How could so much go wrong?

One could safely say that the story behind this otherwise prospering high decile school is one of disaster, and you have to wonder what the folk in the Ministry of Education and building inspectors were doing during the building process. To have to knock down virtually an entire complex after just 13 years is simply bizarre.

In case you've forgotten, here are the staggering figures of leaking buildings in New Zealand. There were 300 schools, 100 commercial buildings and 42,000 houses that were hit with weather-tightness issues between 1991 and 2004.

Ten years on from that, leaky buildings are at last returning to a low/moderate status, as it was before 1991. One has to ask how such a fundamental problem, that sent so many property owners to ruination was allowed to continue for so long?