Hamiltonians Tutata Wiltshire and Bernard Gartner are the first Radius St Joans residents to get married at the rest home. Photo / Radius St. Joans
Hamiltonians Tutata Wiltshire and Bernard Gartner are the first Radius St Joans residents to get married at the rest home. Photo / Radius St. Joans
Bernard Gartner, 87, and Tutata Wiltshire, 66, threw the rest home Radius St Joans into an excited turmoil as they became the first couple to get married at the facility.
Tata and Bernie, as they are known at the Hamilton rest home, celebrated their wedding on September 15, with close to 80 facility residents in attendance.
The two lovebirds met at the facility about six months ago and fell in love instantly.
“Bernie used to sit in the smoking shed by himself all day. I have a mobility scooter, and whenever I went down to the shops, I saw him sitting alone. So one day, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I just said, ‘Hello, are you all right? Do you need anything from down the road?’” Tata said.
“I had a good look at him, and I just thought, ‘Wow’.”
Bernie added: “You could say it was love at first sight.”
Tata shows off her engagement ring. Photo / Danielle Zollickhofer
From that day on, Bernie, a retired army radio operator from New Plymouth, and Tata, a retired hospital worker from Huntly, have been inseparable.
“We worry about one another when we’re not together. He makes me so happy - I love him more and more every day. I don’t want to be without him,” Tata said.
“He is a real gentleman and a big softie. He’d woo anyone off their feet.”
Bernie, a man of few words, said: “She’s a nice lady, gentle, kind. I want to marry her because I love her. I love everything about her.”
Tata and Bernie got married in Hamilton on Friday. Photo / Radius St Joans
When it came to the proposal, Tata took matters into her own hands.
“It was me that asked him. I was like, ‘Bernie, dear, one question, just say yes or no. I’d like to know if you want to marry me?’ He said, ‘No, I want to know if you want to marry me!’ And we both just laughed.”
Bernie and Tata both have been married before. Since they are retired, they don’t have a lot of money and initially didn’t have a ring. But as if it was meant to be, a few weeks ago, they found a ring on the floor of Tata’s room.
“We didn’t know whose it was, but no one claimed it, so we thought, ‘That fills for the engagement’.”
Radius St Joans diversional therapist Berdine Guinness didn’t have much time to be excited and went straight into wedding planning mode, as the lovebirds didn’t want to wait too long.
Bernie and Tata got married with nearly 80 Radius St Joans residents in attendance. Photo / Radius St Joans
“Back in the day, the whole community was coming together for events like this: the grandma was baking the cake, the flowers were picked from everyone’s gardens, the neighbour who knew how to braid was in charge of the bride’s hair, and so on,” Guinness said.
“We’ve tried to replicate this here. Our chaplain [was] doing the service, my daughter baked the cake, and one of our rest home staff who loves decorating made an arch and bits and pieces to make the place look festive. It’s beautifully old-fashioned,” Guinness said.
Tata’s dress was also very special. “It’s the one I wore for my first wedding. Before my first husband passed away, he told me, ‘Whatever you do, don’t give that dress away’, so I knew I had his blessing to wear it again.”
Radius St. Joans facility manager Julie Mendoza with Bernard and Tata. Photo / Radius St. Joans
Radius St. Joans facility manager Julie Mendoza said Bernie and Tata are the first residents to get married at the Hamilton rest home.
“There seems to be this taboo around love in rest homes... but life is for the living and Bernie and Tata seem to be serious. They have become pretty inseparable, so we are excited for them. It was such a beautiful ceremony and they are so happy.”
When asked what advice they would give to young couples, Bernie said: “Make sure you are in true love. To make [a relationship] last, you also need continued friendship.”
Tata added: “Don’t go to bed with a chip on your shoulder. Always talk to each other. Even if things seem silly, talk things out.”
