Rhys Eden Delamere credits boot camps for positive change in his life.
Photo / Mike Scott
Rhys Eden Delamere credits boot camps for positive change in his life.
Photo / Mike Scott
Rhys Eden Delamere is not one to sugarcoat his views, especially on youth boot camps: “Every naughty shit needs to go there.”
His blunt declaration reflects his image of his 20-year-old self as a ‘total loser’ and his belief in targeted tough love, shaped by personal experience – because for Delamere, boot camp worked.
It was his turning point, his ‘hail Mary’ of redemption. “I’m so glad I did it. So glad I did it. It’s a pivotal moment in your life,” he says.
Delamere delivers his candid assessment from his cafe in Taumarunui, where he envisions his future as a series of golden roads leading to bright lights. He acknowledges that the path behind him leads directly back to the day his parents enrolled him in a Limited Service Volunteer (LSV) course in 2012.
When the Herald sat down to chat with Delamere he admitted to being unaware of the new academy boot camps or the coalition’s policy for tackling youth crime, but said the general idea had his full support.
“It prepares you for life. And I think that when you come out of that camp, you need to stick to that. Stick to those foundations.”
Rhys Eden Delamere at his cafe Trunk Coffee House in Taumarunui.
Photo / Alex Robertson
Delamere, 33, is a vibrant contradiction – tough and tame, funny and serious, staunch and soft. Never scary.
He’ll grab a broom with his massive tattooed arms and dance around it before it becomes his taiaha and he pulls a fierce pūkana.
Delamere is gay, Māori and embraces his unique character. “Honestly, I am out the gate – there’s not even a gate – I’m up the tree, off the clothesline.”
He says he’s comfortable in his skin, but he does react to online detractors and can be particular about photos.
He is determined to be himself, letting the judgement of others fold in the wind.
Kia Ora Humans, ever had a maori coffee made by a maori. Well today’s your day 😳 I know who I am and I know where I’m from. I know my Pepeha and my Whakapapa. I might not be able to speak fluent Te Reo, but that doesn’t mean I’m not maori. We need to lift not just our own people up but every human in the world up !!! Cause at the end of the day we all bleed the same colour ✌🏽😉❤️ Pai tou ra ❤️ #aotearoa#maori#nz#nztiktok#coffee#maoritiktok#fyp#fypシ#vibes#taumarunui#laughs#happyplace#vibes#maoritattoo
His life as a teenager was not comfortable in small-town Murupara in the remote Eastern Bay of Plenty.
As the oldest child Delamere was surrounded by a loving, supportive family – mum Melody, dad Edward and three siblings, including his sister Natalie who played for the winning Black Ferns 2021 Rugby World Cup team.
“I wasn’t the best when I was growing up. I think when I got to like a teenager, starting to figure myself out – when I mean figure myself out, like as in coming out gay – and finding it hard to be myself, in such a small community and being Māori.
“And obviously growing up in that small town, being gay is kind of frowned upon. You know, so I kind of went off the rails. And I kinda just started being a little f***head.
Hello Humans, The battle I’m sure a lot of people out there can relate to , This is me and this is who I am ❤️ I’m born and breed in Murupara. I love this version of me. And if you don’t agree with me on how I live my life. That’s not my problem. Massive thank you to my whanau and close friends for standing by me 🥹 To those that bullied me for me just trying to be me, NGA MIHI, you have done me wonders, I see some of you back home cracked out of your heads and ugly. I’d rather be me anyday. Have a lovely Sunday humans and F*** what people think of you, don’t change for ANYONE ✌🏽❤️ #murupara#fyp#viral#tiktoknz#beyourself#dontchange#voiceover#boss#levelup#iloveme#viraltiktok#follow#followers
Those decisions ranged from smoking weed to drinking and driving. He squandered sports opportunities – the NBA was his dream but he was dumped from a New Zealand basketball development team due to his behaviour.
He got into fights and attracted the attention of the police.
“That’s just the way it is. It’s just being young and dumb and girls and trying to prove yourself.
“The reason for my actions is I wasn’t being myself. You act in this certain manner to try and prove that you’re straight, but really, you’re not being your authentic self.”
Delamere is brutally self-critical, labelling his young self a ‘total loser’ “but I’m fine with it because guess what, that’s my past.”
When the chaos came to a head his parents suggested he enrol in the LSV course held a world away at Burnham Military Camp.
Despite having a supportive family, growing up gay in Murupara wasn't easy for Rhys Eden Delamere. Picture from top left, as a young boy, with his Nana Libya Heke Huata, with his mum Melody Delamere and his two cousins Derek and Kass.
Photos / Supplied
“And then they come round to me, and I’m just sitting there like, just a spoilt little brat.
“My Mum and Dad have given me the world, all they’ve tried to do is good by me, and I just threw it in their faces.”
Sitting there, stung by humility, Delamere felt an urgent need to apologise to his whānau.
During the next six weeks, revelling in early morning starts, strict protocols and fitness discipline, Delamere excelled and earned multiple prizes and accolades and finished with a job in Christchurch.
Taumarunui is not a world away from Murupara.
Although his new home is a bit larger, it’s still a North Island rural town with green hilly horizons and a country vibe and Delamere moved in for love.
Almost smack bang in the middle of the main drag, which is bustling when the Herald visits, he runs Trunk Coffee House, one of three businesses he operates with his partner Glen Bason.
Delamere credits his partner Glen Bason for giving him the support he needs to pursue his goals. Photo / Supplied
His current mission is to boost the social media presence of @trunkcoffeehouse, which feature his own mix of absolute hilarity, soul-searching and inspiration.
During the past year, his TikTok, Instagram and especially Facebook have started to kick off, getting hundreds of thousands of views, enough for Delamere to get promotional work.
It claimed the figures are fairly consistent with MSD’s outcomes data, which recorded off-benefit outcomes of 56% at the 16-week point for all LSV programmes in 2016-17.
Despite LSVs being touted as the blueprint for the coalition Government’s new military academies, there are vast differences.
For a start, the first pilot, which started in late July, runs for 12 months and does not involve voluntary applications.
Ten teenagers, already housed in youth justice residences and who have two convictions with a sentence of at least 10 years, have been selected after clinical assessment and consultation with their families and Family Court judges.
While NZDF has assisted with training, the course will be run by Oranga Tamariki and their staff.
