As Clayton Weatherston meets his new cellmate, we're reminded of the former Otago rugby mascot's other life. Around the time Weatherston donned the hallowed mask of Shaq the Cat, one of the Otago Rugby Union staffers who shared mascot duties got the sack for miming a sex act in full Shaq the Cat garb. Apparently the act involved the tail being swung forward through the legs and a, er, rubbing motion. All before a packed Carisbrook crowd...
Something to Tew on
The NZRU's continuing scheme to bury domestic rugby in obscurity came to the fore on Wednesday. Again, relegation is the moot point. As Steve Tew explained the labyrinthine system to journalists in a phone conference on Wednesday, one wag suggested that - following the Meads Cup and the Lochore Cup - the new competition could be called "the Tew Cup". Chuckles rumbled down the line from the nation's attentive rugby oracles. From Wellington? Silence. Mr Tew was not impressed.
Three-second All Blacks
Last week we mentioned three-second All Black Marty Berry. Ryan Allan (also a winner in our Mils Muliaina book competition) reckons Ben Atiga was on the pitch for seven seconds at the 2003 World Cup, although allblacks.com calls it six minutes. Todd O'Caroll remembers Canterbury's Tony Thorpe running on to the pitch for the All Blacks in the late-1980s, doing a few stretches then running off again. A sort of proto-Aled de Manmountain.
Be afraid, be very afraid
SuperShorts' pregnant missus sometimes gets a bit grumpy when we stay out late watching footy, so news from Malaysia has us worried. A woman in Kuala Lumpur has been arrested for stabbing her husband because he came home late after watching Manchester United play Malaysia. District police chief Abdul Jalil Hassan said she was "very angry" when he returned after midnight. Angry? You don't say ...
Twice the boat?
Team New Zealand are going well in the MedCup yachting series, but we must salute the Portuguese naming conventions. As our lads set sail in the boringly titled NZL380, the Iberian love rats take to the seas on Bigamist.
Flintoff fantasists
The English are rightly proud of Andrew Flintoff's efforts in the second Ashes test. But the Lord's commentary team took a departure from reality in comparing his bowling career to those of Curtley Ambrose and Shoaib Akhtar. For the record, the pie-loving Northerner has three five-wicket bags and a respectable bowling average of 32.17. Shoaib has 10 five-fors and an average of 25.69 while the great Ambrose finished his days with 22 five-fors and a positively homicidal bowling average of 20.99.
Of course, batting is another matter.
Good week for...
Richard Gasquet
Claimed successfully (and hilariously) that his positive cocaine test was the result of a snog with a woman in a nightclub. Career saved; lengthy ban avoided - reason to party, we think.
Bad week for...
Bath Rugby Club
More cocaine-huffing hi-jinks from those whacky rugger buggers at Bath have landed the club in deep trouble. This time Justin "the Plank" Harrison has joined Matt Stevens in getting white-line fever.
<i>SuperShorts</i>: Cat in the act
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