Rugby: Super 14 Power Rankings

Each week, the Herald on Sunday puts together the Super 14 Power Rankings, a sophisticated and scientific measurement which ignores the official table and assesses the potential strengths of each franchise – a powerful tool (when we get it right).

1. Sharks (no change)

No, when Rankings left the office last Saturday, he did not expect the Sharks to lose to the Reds. Has it changed his impression that they are locks to win the whole thing? The first seeds of doubt are creeping in.

2. Bulls (no change)

Phil Gifford, whom Rankings has a lot of time for it must be said, was hyper-critical of the Bulls and their methods on the wireless yesterday. Aside from the horrific Deon Stegmann tackle, is the winning side really the right target?

3. Waratahs (up 1)

"Our backs had more possession than the Brumbies, our wingers had more possession...it's not reality." Coach Chris Hickey defends the Waratahs against boredom charges but these guys climb because of their Super draw.

4. Brumbies (up 2)

Robbie Deans' overlooking of Mark Gerrard for the Wallabies means the fullback may shortly head overseas if he doesn't get a call-up. Good work, Robbie, he's a dangerous player.

5. Hurricanes (down 2)

Usually when Muzza Mexted describes a referee as being bad for the game what he is actually saying is "The Hurricanes are losing, m-wah, m-wah". This time, though, he was dead right. Matt Goddard should be sent to The Hague.

6. Chiefs (up 1)

Sione Lauaki loves playing against the Blues. Rankings has a tip for All Black coach Graham Henry - dress the opposition in the Blues' away strip.

7. Blues (down 2)

"But players are players and they just have to step up for one game this week," says the increasingly articulate Pat Lam. Next week, our Pat explains why refs are refs before heading to the Oxford Union debate.

8. Crusaders (up 1)

It reflects poorly on this column's powers of prediction that the Crusaders started the year at No 3. They were meant to be at No 6, honestly, but fear of a red-and-black backlash forced them into undeserved territory.

9. Stormers (down 1)

We're already into territory here where you might as well draw straws for places 7 through 10. None are good enough to threaten the playoffs but none are as bad as the Highlanders-Crusaders-Lions-Cheetahs quartet of misery.

10. Highlanders (no chage)

They have a macabre sense of humour down south: T-shirts glorifying a quintuple murder case, toga parties down the main street involving vomit and poo... and then there's Carisbrook.

11. Reds (up 2)

So impressive were the Reds against the Sharks that they've leaped, like a salmon in autumn, upstream. They have a bye, then four games they could win. That might make them rue their sloppy start to the season all the more.

12. Force (down 1)

The Force played in pink against the Sharks last night to promote breast cancer. Rankings will avoid any off-colour jokes about making sure they have their swabs too or whether they are doing their pelvic floors.

13. Lions (down 1)

Leon Boshoff bawled out three black players, claiming they were only in the team because of their colour. This from the team that proudly promotes an anti-racism cause. Just plain thick-headedness. Embarrassing.

14. Cheetahs (no change)

The Cheetahs spent the week at Queenstown before breezing into Dunedin. I mean, the Bulls are leading and they're rewarded with a trip to Welly; the Cheetahs are rubbish and they get to jolly around in Queenstown.