No jokes please, we're royals

Did you hear the one about the royal wedding? Unfortunately you never will, because of a ban imposed by the royal family on any comedy around tonight's ceremony.

A list of restrictions imposed on broadcasters stipulates that footage, clips or screen-grabs of the Westminster Abbey service cannot be used to amuse the masses.

The contract, agreed with BBC, Sky and ITN, forbids footage of the ceremony being used in "any drama, comedy, satirical or similar entertainment programme or content".

The restrictions have forced Australia's ABC to cancel an "alternative" wedding show hosted by the anarchic comedy group The Chaser.

Kim Dalton, director of ABC TV, said: "We're surprised and disappointed at this very late stage to be informed that any satirical or comedic treatment of the marriage of Australia's future head of state has been banned."

The Chaser's Julian Morrow said: "For a monarchy to be issuing decrees about how the media should cover them seems quite out of keeping with modern democratic times ... but I suppose that's exactly what the monarchy is."

A spokesman for Clarence House, Prince Charles' residence, confirmed the restrictions applied worldwide. "The contract was drawn up between British broadcasters and Clarence House and we would expect all those using the footage to comply with it."

He said the restrictions were in place because the wedding was a religious ceremony. "This is standard practice when services of this nature are being broadcast. There is nothing to stop satirical and other entertainment programmes using footage from the rest of the day."

British comedians attacked the ruling. "It seems absolutely ridiculous," said Dom Joly. "If I were them, I would take clips from a really bad American movie or bad look-a-likes."

Stewart Lee added: "We have paid for the royal family and their wedding, so it is a bit rich to tell us we are not at liberty to interpret the images it produces in whatever way we see fit."

Nevertheless, several "alternative" wedding shows are scheduled.

Dame Edna Everage is also due to host a commentary on Australia's Channel Nine.

- INDEPENDENT