Will Johnston: Horseplay, mechanics' mayhem and a wee spin

Will Johnston at Elizabeth Cafe & Larder for Melbourne Cup with Dayna Comeskey (left) and Annemarie Quill (right)

You know when you ask someone: "How've you been?" and they always reply with a loud outpouring of breath, raised eyebrows and the words "Pretty damn busy!" Well, I've always thought being busy is just what people say to make themselves feel better about their life/justify themselves to others. I do it myself. You're never really that busy are you? Did you eat today? Did you sleep last night? Did you watch TV/stuff round online? Well you're not that busy then are you?!

Busy is relative to the level of laziness you're used to bathing in. My laziness bath is usually full to overflowing. I'm fair drowning in it. When I come up for air from my laziness I get a little perturbed that someone would bother me, clearly I was comfortable being a vege.

Though turns out last week I was actually roused from my lethargy willingly!
The Melbourne Cup was the catalyst. I MC'd the annual function at Elizabeth Cafe and Larder (I love how they have 'lard' in their name, haha, mature, I know). Whoever decided that getting dressed up, necking some wines and chucking some cash at a horse was a good idea is a genius. It was a great arvo, culminated by a lady responding to one of the horse-based, multi choice quiz questions I asked by standing, neighing loudly and giving me an answer that wasn't even an option. Brilliant!

Fast forward to last weekend and I'm at the MTA BOP Awards at Mills Reef. Whoever said it was a good idea to get over 200 mechanics in a room and give them an open bar, was also a (negligent) genius. I was lucky enough to not be the MC that night! I mean the mechanics are a riot, but bugger being the person who has to get them to be quiet and listen. Let your (body) hair down, I say. Why are mechanics so hairy anyway?!

Then it was up early on Sunday morning for the BOP Multiple Sclerosis Society's annual 'Tour of Tauranga' bike ride, starting on the Strand. Lots of people, beautiful weather, physical exercise, doing something for a good cause and a prize giving at the end of it! Why would you live anywhere else (eg: Hamilton)?!

Still, it wasn't a busy week, that's just 3 times I couldn't be lazy, really. You know who was busy last week? Phil Rudd. Mentally busy, I'd say. Is it wrong to feel sorry for him? To get charged with procuring murder, the media to go nuts, then that charge gets dropped would be a hell of a thing to go through. I am guilty of jumping on the bandwagon though...

Turns out it's easy to procure murder in the Bay. I called a local butchery on air and procured the murder of a pig and a turkey for Christmas. The guy even promised to do it under the cover of darkness and to never mention my name if her was caught. Locals helping locals. Haha! Love it!