Will Johnston: Dancing, skidding and bogans

Summer weekends in the Bay are a smorgasbord of food, booze, beaches and events. We're pretty lucky.
Last weekend I went to the Katikati Avocado Food and Wine Festival, then the D1NZ Drifting at ASB Arena (skidding cars round corners, for those that care not).

If you ever get the chance to get among the special individuals of Katikati, you must. I mean special in the best possible way. Not even the nudist or mural special, that they are sometimes known for!

Every time I group there I leave with a new set of awesome memories.

The Avo Fest is stalls round the outside, stage at one end and tables/umbrellas in the middle . . . and a dancing area. There is a German lady (in her 80s I think) that turns up there every year and dances like she is doing waterless aqua-aerobics. As she wades her way across the area, churning water that doesn't exist with her arms, my attention snaps to the freedom dancer. Long blonde hair, significant smattering of tie-dye on the top half, a few faded tats on her tanned (leathery) arms/back, shapely legs (from all the dancing) and shoeless. She smells of ciggies and wine. She's awesome. She does not give a proverbial about who's watching, or the beat of the music, for that matter. She's the definition of dancing to one's own drum. And what a rambunctious, bizarre drum it is.

The atmosphere, food and wine are brilliant. There's a couple of Lions Clubs who put it all together. They are so relaxed but in control- it's a testament to the power of people who care enough about their community to actually volunteer and make things happen.

Bogans. I love them. I think every guy has an inner bogan. Mine was satisfied at the D1NZ drifting out ASB Arena on Sunday.

There is something wrong, but so right, about a V8 heading towards a concrete wall at 150km/h then turning ata90degree angle and missing it by millimetres. To make it more insane, there's two of them doing it at once and the back one is trying to keep as close to the front one as possible. You and I would be dead at the first corner. It really is amazing to watch. It was equally as amazing to see close to 10,000 people turn up to watch it! My mother would say it's a waste of good tyres. Though she's not in the demographic and once stopped at a green light and went when it changed red. I come from a long line of below-average motorists.

Again, there's an event that you'd expect a bit of fighting, lots of boozing and offensive sights. I saw the opposite.

A third of the audience were female, maybe that's why? Most of the ones I heard cheering knew more about the sport that I did. Does that imply that I'm not a real man, or that women in the Bay are5per cent bogan? Both, maybe?!

I saw a guy get a clip round the ears, after one of the cars crashed sideways in to a wall, for suggesting to his wife that she parallel parks in a similar fashion! Okay, so there was a little violence. But it was warranted!

(Will Johnston is the host of Will and Bridget in the Morning-Classic Hits 95FM Breakfast Show in the Bay of Plenty. Listen every weekday from 6-9am).