Any man in a relationship has trashy girl-TV inflicted upon him at some point.
I watched the final of The Bachelor Australia last weekend. You have to succumb to the TV choice of your loved one every now and then. I learnt this the hard way; like with most dogs, I've been sent to the kennel without dinner and a stern, disappointed growling many times. Not that many dogs actually watch golf on TV, but you get it.
What entertainment The Bachelor is! If you ever want a programme to silently scream obscenities at, this is it. I Googled who the winner was about five minutes into it. The only redeeming feature I can see so far is that they are still together (it was filmed late last year).It's a minor miracle! At this stage I'm convinced he chose the chick he did because he couldn't afford the collagen bill for the other one's lips, even on a chiropractor's salary (at least he has a job). When I suggested that to my partner, I got shushed.
It made me think about how the real "Bachelor Bay of Plenty" would go. Firstly, who would the guy be? Retired? Nah. That's too cliché. If you average it out he'd be in his late 30s/early 40s and going a little bald/grey. He'd have one or two kids and potentially be divorced (or married, though that would make for an awkward final episode). He's been away from Tauranga for a couple of years working to a position where he can come back and raise a family in the best part of the country. The kids may have different mums. He's working at the port, or runs a small business, or is in a job to do with logistics/manufacturing that no one really understands. He's employed at least! He's got a dog and he is just a little out of shape (but man does he like to talk about the athlete he once was). Refreshingly, he keeps his shirt on. Every episode! His pastimes include:
• Beer and sport watching
• Not disconnecting from work easily (shows he's dedicated)
• Smiling and nodding when you talk to him as he's watching TV (he hasn't heard a word you're saying)
• Surfing in fine weather only
• Injuring himself at the gym/playing social sport
• Buying expensive sports goods and using them infrequently
Here's what you will love though: he's an amazing dad, he'll walk over hot coals for his kids. He tries not to spoil them, but fails. He wants them to grow up having walked the line of being sheltered and exposed to real life. More than anything he's living here so they grow up with all of the opportunities that living in New Zealand offers. He can teach them to drive here without them having to negotiate an hour of traffic to find somewhere quiet where they can't damage the car. They can go fishing 10 minutes from their house and walk home.
