Violence at home spirals across Bay

Family violence in the Bay is more widespread than first thought - with a big jump in the number of cases reported.
Crime figures released this week revealed 179 more cases of domestic violence reported to police last year than in 2003 - a rise of more than 21 per cent.
The most significant rises last year were at Tauranga and Greerton police stations with 36 per cent and 40 per cent respectively.
Agencies say these figures are still only a fraction of the actual numbers and attribute the jump to more people being willing to report bashings.
Police expect the figure to rise even further as more people become confident to report such crimes and are less tolerant of offenders.
The increase in family violence is across the board and not specific to one ethnic or socio-economic group, police said this week.
The Western Bay police family violence co-ordinator, Detective Jason Perry, estimated only a quarter of family violence was reported to police.
Such crime had always been in the community, but better liaison between police and agencies that worked with violence victims had lead to more cases being reported.
Neighbours and other family members were also reporting family violence as the community became less tolerant, he said.
Family violence could be physical and psychological. About 60 per cent of children who witnessed violence in the home developed anti-social behaviour as they grew up, Mr Perry said.
Many parents feared police would automatically report them to Child Youth and Family, which was not always the case.
"Taking kids away is a last resort - there are plenty of other options but the safety of the children is crucial."
Tauranga Women's Refuge manager Hazel Hape said she always urged women to lay formal complaints.
"That's what the police are there for. The system is much more user-friendly now."
Ms Hape said a collaborative approach by agencies was helping push up the reporting rate.
"People are learning it's their right to have a life that is free of fear and violence."
Social worker Yvonne McLean said victims were feeling more secure about talking to police about family violence.
The Bay of Plenty Times spoke to a Katikati woman who found it hard to leave her violent marriage of 13 years.
"I hid my physical injuries so well that by the time I got out, most didn't believe me and others said I was over-dramatising the situation."
She pretended her broken bones were sporting injuries, but black eyes were harder to explain.
"Each day was just survival and a psychological fear of being bashed."
The death of her ex-husband last month was a form of closure.
The head of Otumoetai College's guidance department, Graham Leigh, said parents and children were more stressed than ever - but youngsters were gaining confidence and asking for help to deal with family violence.
One thing they struggled with was a family breakup, Mr Leigh said.
"The nuclear family is no longer the norm. It's hard for solo parents to bring kids up on their own. Mum or dad having a boyfriend or girlfriend can cause conflict and that puts a lot of pressure on families."
But children were being taught their rights and knew there was no reason to tolerate family violence, Mr Leigh said.
Children were coming forward on their friends' behalf if they knew of violence.
Tauranga community paediatrician Dr David Jones urged people to report child abuse and neglect as soon as possible.
Dr Jones said child abuse often coexisted with partner abuse and family violence.
He added: "It's not your job to prove the abuse, just report any concerns for further investigation - without making assumptions or interpretations."