These are the words of Pāpāmoa-based Lyudmyla Shelton, former owner of Luda Hair Salon in Rotorua and born in Kiev, Ukraine.
Many members of her large family still live in the country.
From New Zealand, Shelton can only watch as border tensionsbetween Russia and her homeland escalate and fears of an invasion grow.
Russia's Kremlin said this week there was "little ground for optimism" in resolving the crisis over Ukraine after the United States rejected Russia's main demands, AP reported
Tensions have soared in recent weeks, as the US and its Nato allies expressed concern about the buildup of about 100,000 Russian troops near Ukraine's border.
Nato states believe the presence of Russian troops in these numbers signalled that Moscow planned to invade its ex-Soviet neighbour.
Russia has denied having any such designs and has laid out a series of demands it says will improve security in Europe.
"Explanations are vague, we just guess but we don't know what will happen.
"The Ukrainian government wants people to be calm and not panic."
Shelton said she remembered being a primary school teacher in the early 1990s, just before Ukraine gained its independence at the dissolution of the Soviet Union.
"If I taught anything against communism I would have been jailed. That is not freedom."
Shelton fears a war in Ukraine could escalate to involve other Nato countries.
"It's just so wrong. We don't want a war. The children don't deserve it. Teenagers will die for nothing.
"We need to focus on more important things like food, peace and recovery from Covid-19."
Tetyana Sanders has lived in Manawatu for 14 years but still has family on the eastern side of the Dnieper river.
"My brothers are already thinking of what they can do to defend Ukraine," Sanders said.
"They are planning for the worst-case scenario."
While Sanders still hopes that the situation will resolve peacefully, she says the Ukrainian community in New Zealand cannot be happy.