There is a common phrase in Maoridom when a rangatira, a leader, passes.
Kua hinga te tōtara i Te Waonui-a-Tāne.' The tōtara tree has fallen in Tāne's great forest.
Maria Ngatai was an ever-blossoming pohutukawa in the forest of our Tauranga Moana whanau and, sadly, todaywe farewell her back to where all the flowers have gone, home to be with her daughter Puarangi.
As we walk to the urupa (cemetery) today, I will remember the walks we did together.
There was no mucking around when it came to mahi (work) for Maria. Many of the restoration endeavours our Te Puna Tahatai Coastal Care group took on involved some challenging cross-country navigation or low tide mud flats across the Waikaraka Estuary out to Tu Koro Island.
We would be all decked out with flash-as Red Bands, a beanie and Kathmandu clothing to keep out the cold as we tried to keep up.
Not so Aunty Maria. Bare feet with waiwai as tough as Massey Ferguson tractor tyres was her trademark attire, plus a harakeke (flax) woven potae (hat), and a far from brand new T-shirt.
That was it, even in winter, and all of them almost as holey as her faith that guided her in everything she did.
Most times, she would carry a bit of branch snapped off on the way, to whack any wandering dogs who thought they had a show of challenging her. Good luck with that Mr Kuri!
And, if you couldn't keep up, too bad - she wasn't waiting.
Maria had two great sayings. The first was "It's all about relationships dear," and my own personal favourite "Absolutely".
In her mind, anything and everything was achievable when you built strong community relationships. When you were in the same room sharing a board meeting, me, the secretary without a skirt and her, the chair with strong legs, there was always a tautoko when good korero was going on.
"Absolutely dear" - even if you were 80 or 18.
Empathy and accolades of aroha from the floor were her foundations of relationship building - and if any of these attributes were within earshot, an "absolutely!" from Maria was on the menu. As was a kai. You could never escape without a koha (gift) from Maria's cupboard.
All of these are trademarks of the relationships Maria had nurtured and manifested by the huge crowds coming on to Tutereinga Marae in Te Puna over the past four days to farewell a friend, neighbour, mother, wife and aunty.
Most were Maori but many of them were her Caucasian cousins, as we liked to refer to them. From ministers and mayors to kings and queens - all paying their respects. Some left koha some left putiputi (flowers), and others gave the greatest gift of all - love, through waiata, whaikorero, karakia and karakia (song, speeches and prayer).
Others, like the potae princess, walked around the back of the marae and into the kitchen with a couple of big bags of kai. Apparently, she raised a few eyebrows with her snow-white skin and ruby red lipstick, not to mention clothes that were far from the hokohoko (second hand) shops that Maria's cross-country gears could have come from.
However, came she did, the Pakeha potae princess, and her koha spoke volumes of the relationships Maria had forged with every corner of the community she lived in.
A sad day but sprinkled with memories of joy and laughter - of a neighbour who called it like she saw it - as she did on the marae when she called the visitors on with her karanga (call).
The karanga of our kuia on our marae will never be forgotten or grow silent, it will simply be passed on to another blossoming pohutukawa to call our people and our manuhiri home.
Maria Ngatai was all about mana, and mana is all about what you give back to your people, as we have learned this last week
Au revoir - haere ra Maria - It's all about relationships, eh dear?
Absolutely.
tommykapai@gmail.com
