In fact, the best thing about watching rugby on a cold day at the Domain are the hot dogs at half time. They truly are worthy of a couple of stars in the Michelin guide for hearty kai.
Everything else about the facilities is still very much stuck in the 60s when the stadium was built, about the same time when we were young ninth graders running around barefoot and full of beans waiting for the big day when playing with boots on was more important than breathing.
Now fast-forward 50 years to next Saturday's final between Rangataua - who are looking at a first-time title in the club's history - and the Mount, who have won it a few times, including a memorable season when my brother coached them to victory and legendary family names were peppered through the pack.
I would like to ask the question amongst dedicated followers of footy who will be there in droves next week, as will councillors new and old: "What would you like more than anything to take Tauranga from the 60s into the next 50 years?"
Would it be a new museum? A new $63 million council headquarters? Or would it be a new, purpose-built, 18,000-seater stadium up on the Domain?
And the crowd goes wild.
For me it's all about creating a soul for the heart of downtown Tauranga and a new stadium will do exactly this. We only have to look at the One Love and jazz festivals or the Lions playing the HoriBops back in the day. The crowds came in their tens of thousands.
As far as cities go, we don't have a soul and to have a soul you need a heart that beats across the city centre like a downtown drumbeat or a pulse that tells Tauranga and those who visit us - we are alive. Then and only then can the crowds go wild with applause.
Sure, I don't mind a museum and I may go a couple of times. Once when it is opened and again when friends visit or the kids go with their class. But that's it. A cultural centre telling local legends and a few sporting yarns has more meaning and a lot more tourism and employment opportunities. Perhaps a stadium and cultural centre could be a great quinella?
As for the new Tauranga Taj Mahal to replace the existing HQ for council, not for me and my mates. This could well be a building like a couple of opposing wingers that Toko Ririnui, a legend of Rangataua rugby, faced in his time. Looked flash, had all the bells'n'whistles on but did bugger all for the whole team - in this case the citizens of Tauranga Moana.
A civic centre is only one part of a team. The heart is the team.
To play on the Domain in a rugby grand final is as big as it gets for thousands of footy fans.
To play that final in a new stadium will be a game changer for our city and the surrounding towns.
Cost of a new stadium? About one-third of the proposed Tauranga Taj Mahal HQ for council.
The timeframe if we all supported it and let our elected and about-to-be-elected members know? Five footy seasons.
Looks on the faces - of supporters and players, concert goers and soul-seekers of the heart of downtown Tauranga? Priceless.
Kia kaha Papaka.
- broblack@xtra.co.nz
- Tommy Wilson is a best-selling author and local writer.