Local mums, from left, Fiona Brown, Jody Hopkinson and Michelle Whitmore. Photo: George Novak
Local mums, from left, Fiona Brown, Jody Hopkinson and Michelle Whitmore. Photo: George Novak
Michelle Whitmore, Fiona Brown and Jody Hopkinson have different life experiences and yet, sitting down for a cuppa, the three mums instantly support, nurture and find common ground with each other.
The conversation starts about their kids -- how many, what ages and so forth -- but it doesn't takelong to discover they all run.
Michelle used her Sunday run to reflect on motherhood.
"It's funny ... whatever you do, you feel guilty. And sometimes people, quite well-meaning, will say stuff to you and you misread it, or you hear criticism that's actually not in there. You sort of load it with your own guilt."
Michelle runs her own marketing business, a deliberate choice when her kids, Rosie (19), Sam (17) and Matt Collins (14), were young.
"I could dictate the hours and when I worked. So I often worked at night when the kids went to bed, because it was consultancy, so it actually provided some flexibility that maybe an employer might not have been as tolerant of," she says.
"For me it was about having invested in a career up to that point and not wanting to lose the momentum ... I just did what I had to do."
She says she was sometimes defensive and wary of people's opinions of what she was doing.
"When in fact I was just trying to do the best and I think every mother tries to do the best for their kids."
Fiona says she gets the other end of the spectrum -- "I think now [her three children are] at kindy [and school] that I should be doing something because I've got this free four hours in the morning."
You can instill all those good traits in them, but they're still gonna push the boundaries ... you've just got to hope they come out the other side okay.
She worked part-time in the past, but two days turned into four nine-hour days and the stress became too much for her.
"I couldn't handle it ... It was such a juggle ... I kept saying no to the kids when they said 'oh, can I have a friend over' or 'I want to play this sport'. For me, it felt really unfair. That's what I'm supposed to be doing."
So when Fiona's husband was promoted she took the chance to be at home full-time with Joshua, 8, Chelsea, 7, and Jessica, 3.
Jody's always been a solo parent to her twin daughters, Wanda and Diana, 6, so she worked on and off when they were young, and now works 30 hours, while they're at school.
Jody says getting out of the house was important for her to "keep sane", as well as needing to provide for her family.
Photo: GEORGE NOVAK
Michelle says she thinks the pressure on mums to work or not has changed.
"I think there's a lot more balance now with guys doing more in the family, that I don't think even 20 years ago it was like that," she says.
Though Jody points out there are still other pressures.
"There's more pressure to be thin, make a lot of money, pay a big mortgage, be a hot wife, be a great friend, be a great mum. It's a lot of pressure," she says.
Fiona says you can only do your best and just have to remind yourself that's enough.
"They're going to be who they're going to be. You can instill all those good traits in them, but they're still gonna push the boundaries somewhere and you've just got to hope they come out the other side okay," Fiona says.
