The ultimate sacrifice

A PROMINENT Maori lawyer who died last month had to make the ultimate choice - her baby or her life.
Jolene Patuawa-Tuilave died on June 26 aged just 33, after a courageous battle with cancer.
Her baby son Lui was just 10 weeks old when she died, leaving behind husband Rob and stepdaughter Vitolia, and an extended whanau.
The Papamoa woman had previously beaten breast cancer after being diagnosed on her 30th birthday in 2006.
But after learning she was pregnant with Lui, she was told within days that the cancer had returned.
Jolene was told by doctors she needed treatment to survive, but they could not treat her if she was pregnant.
"Basically what it came down to was she had a choice, baby or life. She chose the baby," colleague and friend Spencer Webster said.
"I suppose that's an indicator of her bravery.
"She was pretty strong - you have to be strong to make that call. She was pretty awesome really.
"That's the sort of person she was. She thought 'I'm going to beat this anyway, I'll show them'.
"I remember when she told me about it, she was pretty certain that's the way it had to be. She was confident [she could beat cancer]."
Baby Lui was born on April 14 weighing 1920g (4lb 4oz), a brother for 6-year-old Vitolia.
And just 10 weeks later, on June 26, Jolene passed away peacefully in the arms of her husband, surrounded by whanau and friends.
Her stepmother Jacqui Patuawa, speaking on behalf of the family, said having baby Lui was a "dream come true" for Jolene.
"Spending time with Rob and her two children will be what Jolene misses most, and what would have made the knowledge that she was dying most painful," Jacqui said.
"She was an adoring mother who prioritised family over everything else." Jolene and Rob, who married in October last year, were described as "best friends and soul-mates".
At their wedding, Jolene's first vow was to Vitolia - she promised to be the best stepmother she could possibly be. Jolene was an "adoring mother" who prioritised her children over everything, said Jacqui, who is married to Jolene's father Bill.
Tragically, Jolene's mother Judith died of cancer when she was just 34, and Jolene was just 4 years old. She had a close relationship with her father, whom she described before her death has her "rock".
Whanau was Jolene's top priority, and she was fiercely protective of her siblings, and a proud auntie to her 11 nieces and nephews.
Just days before she died, she was at a rugby match to support one of her nephews.
She was also a loyal and loving member of her new Tokelauan family by marriage, and enjoyed the culture.
"She was the sister who was fun-loving, confident, compassionate, and could be pushed forward to speak on their behalf. They describe her as their hero," Jacqui said.
Jolene was remembered as a selfless person who protected and nurtured her loved ones, and those who needed support.
"She is a huge loss to us all, we will miss her every day of our lives, but we are so incredibly proud of her achievements, both personal and professional, in her short life," Jacqui said.
Jolene, who was of Ngati Whatua/Ngapuhi decent, was an accomplished lawyer, and was the co-president of the Maori Law Society at the time of her death.
She was a partner at Jackson Reeves law firm in Tauranga, where Mr Webster is also a partner.
She had returned to Tauranga in May last year to work at the firm.
"She was a great asset to us and anyone [else]. She was on the up," said Mr Webster, who had known Jolene for more than 10 years.
"She was really outgoing, really confident, and really generous. She was one of those people who was loved by everyone. She had the sort of personality that everyone was drawn to.
"She was never short of a friend or two, and had very wide circle of acquaintances. That was an indicator of what sort of person she was - very personable, very sociable, but quite a strong person."
Her tangi was held at Taita Marae in Dargaville, and up to 300 people attended the funeral, with many more paying their respects over the course of the tangi.
More than 50 lawyers and judges attended.
Jolene had been an inspiration to many people, Mr Webster said.
"I know after she was buried, lots of people said they made a life-changing decision based on the example she set. Life's too short."
Maori Law Society co-president Damian Stone said Jolene was a "staunch and tireless worker for Maoridom.
"She was an incredibly smart and gifted lawyer who fought, often with great personal sacrifice, for the recognition and protection of Treaty rights."
A graduate of Otago University, Jolene had practiced law in Tauranga for five years at Holland Beckett before moving to Wellington in 2006.
She worked in the Maori Legal Group at Kensington Swan, advancing to Associate and Senior Associate, before returning to Tauranga last year.
She specialised in Treaty, environmental and Maori law.