Perfection got the better of Heather Loughlin when she was outside her home scrubbing lichen off the velvety, white trunks, of her American paper birch trees, with hot water and detergent.
"Lady, you need to get a life," a man across the street called out.
Loughlin laughs retelling the tale. Even the leaves on her property look polished (they're not), but might as well be for the level of care and attention shown.
The 74-year-old is a longtime participant in the 22-year-old Bay of Plenty Garden and Art Festival, held this year from November 17 to 20, and starts prepping for it a year-and-a-half in advance.
Her woodland-themed garden, named Amberwood, is highly rated by festival attendees and she is not only a wonderful gardener but a biodiversity advocate and fabulous host.
She tries to greet all of her guests at the festival, but with 20,000 attendees visiting the city in the lead-up and duration, and about 2500 to her garden, it's hard, and her alternative is private, guided tours for groups of 10 or more, outside of the festival.
Her Matua garden is home to birds, bees, two ponds - one with minnows and one with oranda fish - and countless insects, including wētā - where there's a dedicated "Camp Bug" created under the tutelage of "The Bugman" Ruud Kleinpaste.
Camp Bug is like a one-storey doll house or village, with separate chalets, a campfire, a swimming pool, and a stage dubbed "The Cavern" for entertainment.
If you are to visit, it will be a journey.
Loughlin describes her garden as a "storybook".
There is a beginning, middle and end, and just like a fantastical fairytale, there are surprises at every turn.
The beginning
Click-clack over a garden path, past the stately, bow-tied hare standing guard at the front door; past a blanket of Hedera Canariensis (Persian ivy) under the American paper birch trees.
Push open a green gate and wonder awaits.
"Usually I have to slow people down as they tend to rush in anticipation of what comes next, but the delight is in the detail," Loughlin says.
In the sheltered "fernery", a long, red brick wall is hugged by a scalloped Ficus creeper.
It's what you might imagine awaits Alice in Wonderland, and there, just as you think it, is a set of giant skeleton keys hanging nearby.
Another section of the wall is home to coloured ceramic birds and insects, snuggled into the plant's basketwork.
More art is peppered throughout the garden - handmade Morris and James pottery - and being English, Loughlin has added a folklore theme throughout the garden including a "herd" of ornate deer, an owl and a fox.
Real garden birds like Blackbirds, song thrushes, sparrows, starlings, wax eyes and Tui flit like a kaleidoscope of butterflies.
It is just as much their home as hers and she feeds them with sugar water and fruit; in turn, they keep the slugs and snails down. She doesn't use pesticides.
So at home is the birdlife here that a baby dove rests on the grass, feet tucked under its body like you might imagine a sun-seeking cat to do.
There are different "chapters" of this garden - chapter one, the fernery, chapter two, the woodland walk, chapter three, the Conifer lawn, and lastly, "Mr McGregor's garden".
Its origin dates back to 1998, when Loughlin, a former charge nurse, and late husband Murray, an orthopaedic surgeon and medical superintendent, called upon David Clayton-Greene from landscaping company CGC to transform an essentially uninspiring 800 square metre lot.
"He said 'If I gave you a cottage garden you'd never be out of it. A tropical garden gets too big, native will be too dark. Would you think about woodland? I mean trees, but an awful lot of them, and they're going to have to be deciduous, and I thought 'beautiful'," Loughlin says.
There were originally 70 trees on the property and there are now about 50 as trees have been added and removed.
Ten years later, the late landscaper, gardening author and photographer Colin Hutchinson helped add "softness and romance" to the garden. More recently Sheryl Ripley of Total Look Design helped add features to connect all areas of the garden so that it's seamless.
When the Loughlins first arrived, there was no shade and nowhere to sit.
"It was truly the worst garden in the street. It had two fruit trees and a washing line. It was a bulldoze job 22 years ago - front, back, sides."
Now, the canopy includes maples and Jacquemontii birches. Nearby is a Cercis canadensis (Forest Pansy). Underneath are pulmonaria majesty, brunnera, aquilegia, ferns, renga renga lily, forget me knots, hostas, toad lilies, ajuga, hellebores and Nandina "Richmond" shrubs, while comfortable seats have been added.
The middle
Centre stage is three native Nikau with cascading waterfalls of red berries.
When the garden's trees lose their shade leaves in the autumn, Loughlin gathers them up, mows them, and makes a natural compost.
The garden is kept in check but not "over gardened".
"I've let it be and I don't have somebody coming in other than for the heavier work, like trimming, that requires machinery. I do it myself and it keeps me fit, and it's a great joy.
"It's atmospheric. People come and say 'it feels almost like a monastery'."
About 10 years ago, she set up a wētā house but no wētā ever came.
Ruud Kleinpaste came to visit during one of the earlier festivals and told her that while her garden was "very pretty" it was "too tidy" and there was nothing for wētā or other native insects to eat.
Under his guidance, she remodelled a small area and added rotten logs, shelter, mess, and plant food. In true Loughlin style, the area had to be "pleasurable and humorous" so she created "Camp Bug", which has now become a native insect habitat, which kickstarted the biodiversity in her garden.
She's known to go outside at night in her dressing gown, holding a torch to see what the critters are up to.
The end
Past Camp Bug is what feels like a glade - a grassed area with a pond and slow-swimming oranda fish, who have caves to delve in and out of, shadowed by lily pads.
To the side, she has visiting ducks; an aviary with English budgies; an insect house; a worm farm; swan plants for caterpillars; a bumble bee hive from Zonda Bees; a 60-year-old Staghorn that lives in an "enchanted" maple tree - its tips painted red with a dragon living above it and its familiars below. "It's imagination," she says, with Mr McGregor's garden just around the corner.
"I've set it up so it looks like one of [Beatrice Potter's] pages.
"When you can't see a garden all at once, and each bit is a surprise, it makes it feel bigger. There's a lot of stuff in here for a tiny city garden. It's a lot of thought and it has taken 25 years to do it. You can't do this instantly."
In the beginning, both Heather and Murray had demanding hospital jobs, two Boxer dogs, two Birman cats and a motorhome.
"It depends on what you like, and if you want Netflix and to go out for Lattes, you can't do this.
"This is not just for the festival. I get lost in it and it's creative so it makes you think, not only about [plant] care but what looks right.
"You feel like you're part of the ecosystem, which of course you are, but you lose it when we go into town with a briefcase."
The festival, she says, is "a serious backdrop to my life".
"It's not just a biennial thing. It's a way of life."
Gardening has brought her much comfort.
She nursed her dying husband at home 12 years ago. Murray loved the garden as much as she did, and he was carried out through it after he died.
"We had a full happy life and it reflects in our garden, I think."
Since then she's continued to work tirelessly, and tells a lovely yarn about how when she first agreed to be in the festival, she was clock-watching, convinced no one would be terribly interested in visiting her patch.
Then her house was cast in shadow, and she heard a slow-braking "psst, psst" outside - two Pavolich coaches had blocked the sun, and from them disembarked 100 people keen to see her garden.
Loughlin is happy to pass on her knowledge and experiences but chuckles at that first festival showing.
She was well-prepared for questions from discerning guests and was excited when the first one came.
"Excuse me," inquired an eager woman. "What colour eyeshadow are you wearing?'"
You can visit Heather Loughlin's garden Amberwood during the Bay of Plenty Garden and Art Festival, where there are 74 garden and art stops - of those, 20 are art studio stops. For a private tour of Heather's garden for groups of 10 or more ($5 per person, which she puts towards plants), phone her on (07) 576 2288 or 027 444 7096 to book. Her tours are offered all year round to any club or group, excluding the four days of the festival. She is also seeking wētā, if you have found one that you wish to donate to her "Camp Bug".
The Bay of Plenty Garden and Art Festival also includes Bloom in the Bay at the festival's hub at Tauranga Racecourse during the festival days. Sponsored by Craigs Investment Partners, Bloom in the Bay is free for festival pass holders, and only $5 for others. It's child-friendly, and kids under 14 are free. On offer will be garden and outdoor-related trade stalls, garden and art displays, inspirational speakers, artists working from tiny houses, presentations and workshops, creative demonstrations, flower displays, live entertainment, food, and a garden bar. Check out the festival website www.gardenandartfestival.co.nz.
The festival also incorporates the opportunity to enjoy a Long Lunch with gardening journalist, author, broadcaster and plantaholic Lynda Hallinan (and special guest, Ruud Kleinpaste aka The Bug Man.) The Long Lunch will be held at Tauranga Racecourse on Sunday, November 20.
Tickets to the festival's various offerings can be bought at Palmers Bethlehem (the festival's returning garden and art trail sponsor), Decor Garden World, i-SITE Tauranga, Pacifica Home and Garden Store, Te Puke Florists, Katch Katikati Information Centre, Eventfinda (service fees may apply), or at www.gardenandartfestival.co.nz. Tickets are $40 for one day and $65 for multiple days. Bayleys returns as the principal festival partner this year.