Few scorned wives could keep up an attack on an errant husband for a solid hour, as Ross did with a marvelling media, seemingly without pausing for breath. Women lack the stamina. Skirmishes are more our style.
Was this one of those relationships where one partner says they didn't see the split coming, was shocked and appalled, while the injured partner snarls that they've been warning them for years? And why don't these guys shave?
Hair oil and stubble suggest a man who loafs on the couch with his feet up, monopolising the remote control while stuffing potato crisps into his cake hole and glugging beer.
Ross' performance was tragedy viewed at a distance, enough to distract me from replays of Kanye West, his rival for my entertainment this week, at the White House, and the magic moment when nobody leaps to Donald Trump's aid as West clumsily hugs him.
True love was never lovelier.
As Bridges fronted to tell his side of the story, Paula Bennett stood beside him stony-faced, and Judith Collins remarked on Ross's self-immolation while generously sparing Bridges her thoughts on his now fragile leadership.
When will one of them replace him?
The brawl included a fashionable dash of #MeToo in Bridge's claim of Ross harassing four, or maybe lots, of women in Parliament.
Ross summoned up the ghosts of his grandmother and great-grandmother, who he said raised him, as proof that he could never disrespect a woman, while potential complainants — according to Bridges — waited metaphorically in the wings, rolling pins at the ready.
It really doesn't work when men try mining #MeToo for ammunition against each other.
They should leave it to the experts, because men are all suspects until proven otherwise.
Neither is it convincing when a man admits to having been a willing bag man for donations to their capo, then claims a sudden conversion to moral clarity.
He talks about having a mental breakdown after he was ousted, but made a swift recovery.
And we have more revelations to come.
Politics never seemed quite so shabby, in this country anyway.
America is another story.
Shabby is routine there nowadays, and Donald Trump is predictably refusing to accept that the Saudis could have brutally murdered their critic Jamal Khashoggi.
I mean, he likes the Saudis, and when a proposed $110 billion arms deal with them is balanced against a mere man's life all thoughts of human rights evaporate. What Khashoggi? Who?