Times are changing in our society, and that is for the better, writes Rob Rattenbury. Photo / 123RF
OPINION:
With all the discussion about te reo Māori being used more and more in the media and among many of us as time marches on, I still find it interesting that many white New Zealanders find the word Pākehā distasteful to them.
Again, like Aotearoa, it is just aword.
It is a name I wear with pride, a name I like to hear used often, a name I use to describe myself, the descendant of Irish, English and Māori forebears.
With my freckles, blues eyes, red beard and white skin I cannot be anything else other than Pākehā despite being the child of a Māori father and an Irish mother.
I would never be presumptuous enough to describe myself as Māori although, with my upbringing, I am comfortable in the Māori world.
Recently I had a long conversation with a social worker from Oranga Tamariki about a matter I have been helping with.
The social worker, a young Pākehā woman, explained to me an interesting point.
Children who are nowadays adopted are encouraged to learn about their birth culture and language, different to the old days where all aspects of a child's life were normally kept secret from them.
Research shows that children growing up knowing and having regular connections with their birth culture, language and customs become more comfortable in their own skins as they mature into young adults.
New Zealand adoption practices will become more like the Māori custom of whāngai or customary fostering and adoption, where children raised by others always know their family roots and maintain them.
My siblings and I have always known and been very proud of the different cultures that are our family.
We know our Ngāti Mutunga whakapapa as well as our southern Ireland and English West Country roots. Nothing was hidden from us.
My Māori grandmother was a regular influence in our lives, along with our Irish grandmother.
She lived with us for a while as was the culture in my father's family, moving around between her children's homes after she was widowed.
She was a kind but firm grandmother who expected all her mokopuna to work hard and do well in Pākehā society.
She liked to read our school reports, a habit I viewed with some trepidation as if the report was not good it was not what she said but what she did not say and the way she would look at me that was worrying.
She would mention a cousin who got top marks in some subject just to put a bit of pressure on.
I never really saw the Māori/Pākehā thing growing up. There were several Māori families in our neighbourhood who we played with.
Pākehā was just a word I heard a lot of and not in a nasty way but usually in a joking, humorous, affectionate or informative way.
The word Pākehā is one of those words that several meanings have been given to by mainly people not keen on the name and not informed.
It is not "white pig"; that is poaka ma.
It may descend from creatures in Māori folklore called pakepakeha or it may be a word made up of the root parts of other words.
It is not the only name given to white people by Māori when they began arriving in the first half of the 19th century.
Others were tauiwi, tupua, marakihau and taewa.
Historic letters show the word Pākehā being used as a term of affection by Māori correspondents of noble birth to their Pākehā friends in business and personal matters back to at least the 1850s. "My dear Pākehā friend…"
If something concerns me I like to explore why. Pākehā never worried me but I have explored the word because people I know and care about have been upset about either seeing the word or being called Pākehā.
My research confirmed the comfort I have in using the name to describe myself. It is the one word that describes me that is uniquely of this country, Aotearoa.
Times are changing in our society, I feel for the better. Change can be difficult to handle.
If something is upsetting or concerning, explore both sides of the argument and decide.
You do not have to agree, but you will be more informed.