I have never been the slightest bit interested in visiting another such establishment.
And do not suggest to me that anything in country town Tauranga could match the sophistication of Melbourne for I would have to laugh very loudly.
I am no fan of smoking but, if people want to slowly kill themselves it is their choice. Let's not forget smokers pay an awful lot of extra taxes each time they buy a packet of fags so they really do cover their own hospital costs in advance.
Smoking is not illegal so why should the poor addicts who continue to puff tobacco be treated as lepers?
And, if they can't smoke outdoors in public places, where should they indulge in their legal habit?
In their houses - with their children?
Or in their cars - with their children?
If ordinary citizens allow this sort of discrimination to continue they will only be acquiescing to a socialist/fascist nanny state that will soon take for granted it can tell every adult what they can and cannot do.
Well I think we should hand out big congratulations to three local chaps - and a former local - who did very well election night.
Firstly there are the National MPs Tony Ryall and Simon Bridges. Both are approachable, hard-working guys who keep the Bay in the Government's sights and that's to our advantage.
Then there's the personable Brendan Horan who is now in Parliament with New Zealand First. Having been on the council campaign trail with Brendan I can say he's a decent bloke with lots of good ideas.
And on the subject of NZ First I want Winnie the Peters drug-tested.
The guy must have been on human growth hormone to have turned around his party from having no seats to eight in the new Parliament.
Winnie, you are a devil to get a straight answer out of, but you will definitely make politics more interesting again.
Well done to all of you.
It could have been a full moon, or else this guy was couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, but Papamoa police were called in to deal with a chap who, well ... you'd better read on.
Described as a "strange little man" the fellow frequented underwear shops before graduating to Papamoa's clothing shops.
In one of the establishments he went into a change room, stripped down to a G-string and asked a somewhat surprised female shop assistant "do I look good in this?"
Unlike his G-string it seems he has a big ego as despite being told that it wasn't very becoming he repeated the exercise at several stores. He has yet to be caught, but the local constabulary have their eyes peeled for the dodgy little customer and will probably give him a serious wedgy when they catch him.
Ah, I just so love the lack of general knowledge around these days, it really adds humour to life.
The other night I was at my first Christmas party of the year when I overheard this little gem. American wonderband Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama was put on by the DJ and as its unforgettable guitar riffs pounded out a clever young thing said: "I really love Texas music."
I couldn't resist.
"Umm, 'scuse me, did you say Texas?"
"Mm, mm," said the brainbox.
"Umm, yes, but it's from Alabama ..."
Amid giggles from everyone at the table.
"Oh ... whatever."
Our future is clearly in safe hands!
richard@richardmoore.com