Richard Moore: Observing the wrong day?

So, Northland's thugs and ratbags have once again got their moments in the spotlight.

By using megaphones to heckle the Prime Minister they forced him to cut short his Waitangi Day address at the infamous Te Tii Marae. He left amid a crowd of security officials but promised to return next year.

Of course, John Key was always going to be facing disruption at the marae because in the past we have had leaders such as Helen Clark and Don Brash also abused there.

Miss Clark was jostled and refused to return, Dr Brash got a shower of mud and a clod of it in the mush. Mr Key was not scared, nor put off, by the Maori activists' behaviour, he just seemed miffed.

Let's remember that in 2009 he was physically attacked on his way to the marae by the Popata brothers. One of the brothers' almost unintelligible comments on TV were about ... well ... stuffed if I could follow them.

The problem with the Waitangi protests is that they harden opposition to any reasonable claims Maori have against past injustices. It isn't just Maori mana left bruised by the repeated argy-bargy at the marae; two media representatives were left bloodied in the episode.

Now I'm not all that fussed about Waitangi Day itself, nor am I very tolerant of the attention-seeking antics of a few.

It's a public holiday, I get more money for working it, there's a lieu day and, as for the rest, I couldn't care.

I am sure a great many other residents of this land feel the same.

It gives radicals a chance to show off, embarrass the country and, quite frankly, needs to be dealt with in a different way.

Firstly, I wouldn't have it up in the Far North.

If there are to be official celebrations then do them in Wellington. If the Government wants to continue the Waitangi farce then at least get serious about protecting people.

Use police on horseback with long batons. If radicals cause trouble, ride over them, after giving them a bit of a tap on the head.

If the powers-that-be won't go to those lengths, then how about getting clever about Waitangi Day?

Change the date and have a national day at some other time.

Celebrate it in early February, but make it on dole-collection day. That would cut down on the number of protesters free to cause trouble.

Or have a day of parties on July 4.

The Yanks do it quite well and, seeing as New Zealand has copied so much of its modern culture from America (backwards baseball caps, rap music, fast-food diets), why the heck not?

Maybe it could be January 26.

Okay, it would be shared with Australia Day, but so many Kiwis are living there and half the country's businesses are owned by Aussies, what would it matter?

We could still line the streets with flags of red, white and blue; only they would have six white stars.

That may require a raising of national education standards to get past counting the fingers on one hand, but that isn't a bad thing.

There'd be better fireworks displays and we could all stand around singing Waltzing Matilda into the night.

If the cultured side of the country gets its say, then perhaps July 14 could be the New Waitangi Day.

I mean, what could be better than quaffing Froggy vino singing La Marsellaise at the top of your lungs, punctuating the singing and sipping with dishes of grenouilles and other morsels?

If protesters try to interrupt the proceedings, biff bread rolls at them to the cries of "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" and bursting into Je ne Regrette Rien!

Failing that, grab hold of the ringleaders and have them say "bonjour" to Madame Guillotine.

IT IS interesting, is it not, that the smarter technology is, the dumber thieves become.

Take the South Auckland thief who nicked an iPhone from someone in Manukau Shopping Centre.

Little did he know that the stolen gadget was sending out GPS information that allowed the police to track him down.

Not only was he caught with the illegally gained iPhone, but also the stolen car he was driving.

Dumb as a box of rocks.

richard@richardmoore.com