Rachel Grunwell: The key to happiness

If you slip up or stuff up, try and toughen up. Photo / Getty Images

If you slip up or stuff up, try and toughen up. Carry on. Be resilient. Also, have people around you who give a stuff about your success.

We can all fall down in life. Often. If not physically, then at least mentally. We can lose our jobs. Miss out on promotions. Get sick. Feel emotionally bruised.

Life is a rollercoaster; it's full of ups and downs. It can be easy to go into shock when tough things happen, give up, be afraid to carry on and feel helpless. But if you can pick yourself up quickly and carry on, or find another way forwards, you'll thrive. Resilience is crucial to our happiness levels and wellbeing.

My son Finn, 6, learnt this the other day.

He fell over at the start-line of his school cross country on a muddy, freezing winter field. The right side of his face, body and leg was muddy. But he was mostly mortified.

He looked up to hundreds of spectators. Everyone could sense his gut-wrenching distress. The next few moments felt like minutes. Finn froze on the spot. You could see his eyes gaze ahead to see all the other kids now far ahead. You could sense he felt like giving up. You know that raw feeling that you've lost before you've even started.

At that moment, Finn's brother Lachie, 10, stopped being a spectator on the sidelines close by. He raced across the field to help. He told Finn: "Don't give up!" Lachie promised to run with him. With that support, Finn decided to run and the crowd roared. At the finish line, the two boys got loud cheers. Finn finished second to last, smiling.

He finished and I'm so proud.

Next time you feel paralysed by failure, pick yourself up and carry on with a smile — like my kid did. Also, think of someone you can help today like a brother might. It might propel them forwards.

• Rachel Grunwell is a weekly wellness columnist for Indulge. She's a wellness expert, speaker, coach and yoga teacher. She shares de-stress and mindful living techniques at weekend-long health retreats at Rotorua's Polynesian Spa. An award-winning writer and keen marathoner, follow her lifestyle blog.

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