Opinion: Marriage is an evolving concept for New Zealanders

Marriage can be a wonderful thing. Photo/Getty

The news came last week that fewer Kiwis are getting married.

Cue sighs bemoaning the death of traditional families and snide comments about the inconsistency of "the youth of today".

But what may surprise many people is that those who are getting married are staying married longer.

The marriage rate in 2017 is sitting at 10.9 couples per 1000 people, compared to 8.4 divorces per 1000 people, according to Stats NZ.

For millennia, marriage was not about love or happiness, but was usually more of a business contract. Marry me, keep my house and bear my children and in return, I'll give you a measure of independence from your family, status in society and a secure future.

This began to change as love matches started to become more common. Women and men began to look for romance instead of mere compatibility in a mate.

As women's emancipation grew, their need for financial support diminished and marriage has now become more of a choice than a necessity.

And I think that's fantastic.

Freedom is a marvellous thing. We aren't forced into anything by society but instead can make the decision that feels right to us.

Marriage is therefore a choice, and a more meaningful one for that.

People these days who get married are those that truly want to be married, which I think means they are more likely to stay together.

Those that don't want to get married don't have to, and aren't vilified for it.

You don't often hear people tagged with a "spinster" or "bachelor" label these days, at least not with the negative connotations once associated with singledom.

Couples can choose not to get married and still have a lifelong relationship with all the legal standing of a marriage, without the often exorbitant cost of a wedding.

Marriage can be wonderful, more so when it is something both parties truly want.