Ray Everest and his wife Courtney Everest. Photo / Supplied
Ray Everest and his wife Courtney Everest. Photo / Supplied
A father at 16 and a school principal at 26.
When Ray Everest was a teenager, a lot of pressure was put on his reputation and "outcomes".
"And because of that, I never felt I was good enough."
The Pāpāmoa man ended up seeking help for anxiety, depression around feelings of abandonment and self-worth and a "deep compulsion to prove people wrong".
Everest is sharing his mental health story as today marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week. On October 2, a free, family-friendly event called FluroFest will be taking place at Memorial Park in Tauranga from 1pm to 4pm - an important kaupapa of encouraging and supporting positive engagement for mental health wellbeing. Everest is also a speaker at FluroFest.
"And because of that I never felt I was good enough. No matter what I was achieving the outcomes weren't good enough because I had let myself down."
He also wanted his son Cortez to be "really proud" of his father.
"I was school principal at 26 but it was all for the wrong reasons.
"I was just trying to prove people wrong... and it just ultimately consumed me."
Everest said it was "quite a tough time" and he ended up throwing away the principalship.
He said he was "lucky" to meet his wife, Courtney Everest, who stood by him during his mental health battle.
Everest also spent two years going to weekly counselling sessions.
One day, his counsellor asked him what he needed help with.
"I remember just looking straight in her eyes and saying, 'I actually don't think I need you anymore.' And then she just closed her book, stood up, put her hand out, shook my hand and that was it."
Everest is a proud husband and father to Cortez and his two young daughters Marlo and Frankie. He and his wife own an early childhood centre in Pāpāmoa and he coaches weightlifting.
He also meets a group of men every Thursday at a cafe in Pāpāmoa.
"We just talk about good stuff - business, growth, life, being a husband, being a dad. We're honest and true and transparent and it's grown out of the curiosity to be better.
"I'm far more capable of talking about it [mental health]. I don't carry shame with it anymore."
Tauranga Youth Development Team general manager Erika Harvey said FluroFest was about improving wellbeing in the community and connecting people with available services.
This included mental health, counselling, sexual health, addiction, drug abuse, financial support, disability and personal development.
"What we've noticed after Covid is that mental health and wellbeing has grown massively - there's such a huge need around where people go to get help."
Harvey said FluroFest was a free, community event of fun and entertainment. There would be live performances, comedy, workshops and food trucks. There was also an area for people to bring their own food and have a picnic.
"But at the same time, they'll have all these different stalls to show people what kind of services are out there, what they do, how they work, how they support youth and their families."
Harvey said it was working in partnership with Tauranga City Council and Te Whatu Ora Hauora a Toi Bay of Plenty.
Te Whatu Ora Hauora a Toi Bay of Plenty mental health and addictions business leader Jen Boryer said the theme for mental health awareness week was "reconnect" and it was helping to organise FluroFest.
"[This] week we'll be encouraging our staff and people in our wider community to reconnect with loved ones, with special places, with themselves, with nature, and with their communities," she said.
"Connecting with special people and places really helps to lift people up, so building these sorts of connections is tremendously helpful for our mental health and wellbeing."
She encouraged people to visit the mental health awareness week website for ways they could "reconnect" this week.
Mental Health Foundation chief executive Shaun Robinson. Photo / Supplied
Mental Health Foundation chief executive Shaun Robinson said the last couple of years had been tough for us all.
''It's easy to feel disconnected from the people and places that are important to us," Robinson said.
''Mental Health Awareness Week is a chance for New Zealanders to prioritise their mental health. There's growing recognition that we need to uplift our mental wellbeing, and that connection is a crucial part of this - the engagement with this year's theme has been very encouraging."
The theme of the week was to reconnect with the people and places that lift you up.
"Whether it's reaching out to someone you have lost contact with, visiting a place that's special to you or getting outside in nature, we hope you'll join us this MHAW to reconnect with the people and places that lift you up to enhance your wellbeing - hei pikinga waiora."
Health Minister Andrew Little. Photo / Mark Mitchell
Health Minister Andrew Little said following two years of Covid disruptions and now with the easing of restrictions, it was timely to reconnect to support our mental wellbeing.
"This year's theme will resonate deeply with many New Zealanders and it's a great reminder of the importance of reaching out to those we know and care about. You often don't realise what pressures many people are experiencing and what a difference you can make by taking the time to check in, touch base or spend some quality time."
* To learn more about the week and find activities to help you reconnect during MHAW, visit www.mhaw.nz . To find events on near you, visit www.mhaw.nz/whats-on.
