I have been known, on occasion, to go to bed with a furry, cat-shaped hot water bottle. It's warm, snugly and the perfect bed companion for those cold nights when hubby is finding it hard to prize himself away from the sports channel. I mean, why wouldn't you?
But the assortmentof "stuff" I have found in my kids' beds after lights out has left me asking: Why would you?
The other night in Miss Two's bed I found three pairs of sunglasses, 12 soft toys and a pink bag that contained: four Littlest Pet Shops, a Furry Frenzies figure, a stone, a Cinderella bracelet, an Upsy Daisy phone, an orange dice, a jandal-shaped notepad, a plastic party bag, a miniature Magna Doodle and a pink lipstick.
A soft toy or a cuddly rug I can understand. Tactile. Cosy. Comforting. But rolling over on to a pointy-eared, plastic cat does not appeal.
Which is why, after Miss Two has gone to the land of nod, I go into her room and rummage through her bed, lest there be something uncomfortable that might wake her in the night.
This particular evening I left the soft toys and one pair of sunglasses but took the other two pairs and the pink bag.
Damage control complete.
I failed, however, to deactivate our large, living, breathing ginger cat, who has taken to her bed of late.
So at 2am there was wailing, accompanied by a loud thud as puss hit the floor before walking sheepishly out of her room. It's a common enough scenario. Cat gets cold. Cat seeks warmth from human companion.
But when the cat is 10kg and the human only a smidgen more, it doesn't make for a comfortable fit.
Moral of the story: Ditch hot water bottle that looks like a cat and take actual cat to bed. Shut Miss Two in her room with toy cats and hope for the best.
