Michelle Hall battled postnatal depression after she had her daughter. Photo / Megan Wilson
Michelle Hall hit "rock bottom" 12 months after becoming a mother.
The 48-year-old described herself as a "very organised woman" but having a baby at 39 meant she suddenly had a "lack of control" over her life.
She started having suicidal thoughts and was crying every day.
Her newborn daughter had undiagnosed reflux, which meant Hall wore her "upright" in a wrap against her body for four months.
"A big day for me was brushing my teeth.
"She screamed day and night and it was very very stressful.
"I ended up realising I had depression."
Another Tauranga mother, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, also struggled with postnatal depression after she had her second child.
"He just screamed all the time, I couldn't feed him.
"I was an absolute mess and my daughter just got completely neglected because I couldn't have a shower, I couldn't cope with anything, it was awful."
Hall's experience with postnatal depression inspired her to start a support group in Tauranga where women could share their experiences of motherhood in a "safe space".
Statistics from Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa show one in four women and one in 10 men experience postnatal depression.
This week is Perinatal Mental Health Awareness Week, which aims to create awareness of this "silent problem" and to ensure health professionals have the education and future parents the support needed to navigate early parenting, Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa said. Hall sought help for postnatal depression in 2015 through the Western Bay of Plenty Primary Health Organisation, which ran an eight-week psychoeducation course for women with postnatal depression and anxiety.
She said the course was "wonderful" and gave her "practical tools" about how to navigate through depression.
"The only thing was it was only eight weeks and with mental health, it's not like you're sick and then you're well. It's sort of like an ongoing journey.
"I came out of that and was like, well now what?"
Hall founded a support group in Tauranga called True Colours - Honouring the Mother, which has been running for five years.
"Going through postnatal depression myself, I was really isolated and there were quite a few barriers for me to get help.
"I just felt fairly sure that there must have been other women feeling the way that I did."
Hall wanted to connect with a "community of women" who understood what it was like to be a parent while having depression.
The group was a "sacred space" for women to cry, share happy moments and talk about how they were keeping themselves well, she said.
In her experience, no-one talked about mental health and parents needed support to help them become "more prepared" for parenthood.
The Tauranga mother, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said she had a "really hard time" seeking help for postnatal depression through the medical system because she felt like she wasn't being "heard".
She told her doctor she was not coping, but the doctor prioritised the woman's son over her mental health.
"I remember standing in the middle of the hallway just in my dressing gown just a blubbering, screaming mess because I just couldn't cope. I didn't know what to do.
"And to have a doctor ignore my screams for help ... I just got dismissed from medical professions."
She started seeing a new GP who put her on anti-depressants and referred her to group counselling for postnatal depression. She then heard about Hall's support group.
She described it as a "relaxed environment" where there was "no judgement".
"To be able to go to Michelle's group was so important just to be able to have a cry and have a laugh."
Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa general manager Treena Cooper said becoming a parent could be a wonderful experience, but it also brought many changes and challenges.
"Everybody feels down or angry from time to time but a depressive illness is more than that. It is when several symptoms occur over the same time period.
"At its most serious it can be life-threatening and can pose a risk to the mum or birthing parent, the baby and their family."
A Helen Clark Foundation report published last week revealed suicide was the leading cause of deaths among pregnant women and new mothers. Cooper said the report made a number of recommendations, including improving access to public housing, increasing funding for midwifery services, extending ACC coverage to birth injuries and making it easier to get culturally appropriate support for distressed parents.
"Our work at PADA is to provide education and training for those healthcare providers supporting parents experiencing perinatal anxiety or depression.
"If they can screen confidently, ask the right questions and refer to suitable services, then this will help give the parents a better start and create better attachment with their baby."
The Bay of Plenty District Health Board was approached for comment.
Western Bay of Plenty Primary Health Organisation primary mental health programme lead Naomi Malcolm said its eight-week postnatal depression and anxiety psychoeducation group was still running.
The aim of the group was to provide a safe, supportive environment where women can discuss their experiences and to provide an understanding of postnatal depression and anxiety and the expectations and realities of motherhood, Malcolm said.
As well as providing a safe place for women to discuss their experiences and receive support, the group also provided education and strategies for recovery. Each week would focus on a different topic related to maternal mental health, she said.
Topics include:
• Understanding postnatal distress/depression and the impact of imbalance on mood and coping.
• Challenging expectations and myths of motherhood.
• Self-care and self-esteem.
• Communication and relationships.
• Mother/baby interaction – enhancing the relationship with baby.
• Challenging thinking – connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.
• Stress and relaxation - understanding stress and coping skills.
The group is held weekly during each school term and Zoom meetings are also available.
The PHO also provides funding for individual counselling if this is more appropriate to their clinical presentation and need.
True Colours - Honouring the Mother meets on the last Monday of each month from 12pm to 2pm at the Jam Factory in the Historic Village. Mothers can bring their babies and attendance is free. There is a maximum of eight women per session.
Contact Michelle for bookings at: honouringthemother@gmail.com or on 021 541 440
Michelle also runs monthly online Zoom sessions. Details can be found on the True Colours - Honouring the Mother Facebook page.
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
For counselling and support
Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP)
Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Need to talk? Call or text 1737
Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202
For children and young people
Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234
What's Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)
The Lowdown: Text 5626 or webchat
For help with specific issues
Alcohol and Drug Helpline: Call 0800 787 797
Anxiety Helpline: Call 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY)
OutLine: Call 0800 688 5463 (0800 OUTLINE) (6pm-9pm)
Safe to talk (sexual harm): Call 0800 044 334 or text 4334
All services are free and available 24/7 unless otherwise specified.
For more information and support, talk to your local doctor, hauora, community mental health team, or counselling service.
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