A girl's bond with her dad is said to be key to her mental and emotional development and helps shape her as a person. With Father's day tomorrow, Carly Gibbs asks five father-daughter duos what they've learned from each other about life.
Steve and Anamaya
With a shared love of football and music, Steve and Anamaya Taylor's relationship gets closer and easier as the years go by. Steve, 48, a fire systems surveyor and part-time football coach, has coached Anamaya in football since she was little. They live in Tauranga with mum Carrie and brother Kobe, 13. Anamaya, 15, is a boarder at St Peter's School.
What's the most important thing you've taught one another?
Steve: To enjoy each moment and stage, because she's grown up so fast. Every moment I spend with her, and in this world, is important. Too often we take things for granted.
Anamaya: No matter how many times I fail, or whatever I do, and wherever I go in life, he'll always be there for me to fall back on. He'll always support me to go out and seize the day.
What is your favourite memory together?
Steve: The first time we played futsal competitively. All the years I've spent coaching her and all of a sudden she was showing me up. I felt so proud.
Anamaya: My favourite band that I'd been wanting to see for years (21 Pilots) came to New Zealand, and dad bought us tickets. We drove from Tauranga to Auckland, talked the whole way, and when we got to the concert, dad got me right to the front, so that I was metres away from the band. It was an amazing night and I had so much fun.
What's the hardest thing about father-daughter relationships?
Steve: We're both stubborn and think we're both right, most of the time. Sometimes you need to step back and look at things from the other person's perspective to understand how they're feeling.
There's always going to be complications, but understanding that, and perhaps why, is the best way of solving it and moving on.
Anamaya: That we're not the same person and not always going to think or agree with the same. I'm learning to accept that, rather than take it to heart. You can't expect someone to act exactly how you want them to all the time, and no one's perfect. Appreciate the imperfections and understand that's what makes them, them.
How has your relationship evolved?
Steve: We have more of a friend-to-friend relationship. We can talk to each other about our problems or anything else that we need to get off our chests. Anamaya has developed a massively sarcastic sense of humour, and I feel like we can always joke around and have banter.
Anamaya: Now, that I'm older and more mature, Dad and I get along like a house on fire. We appreciate music; cook dinner together, and dance around in the kitchen. I can talk to him about how I'm feeling because he always makes me feel better when I need someone to cheer me up. We understand each other more and accept each other's strengths and weaknesses.
How will you celebrate Father's Day?
Steve: A lie-in, as well as a kick around in the garden in the afternoon. I mostly just want to have quality time with my family.
Anamaya: Cooking Dad salmon bagels, and his favourite dinner - an English roast with all his favourite extras.
Ged and Genevieve
Rotorua dairy farmer Ged Farrell, 44, knows more about daughters than most. He has five of them with his wife Delia (Genevieve, 13, Magdalena, 12, Florence, 9, Isadora, 7, and Dorothea, 4). He and the eldest, Genevieve, have similar personalities and share the same sense of humour.
What's the most important thing you've taught one another?
Ged: Be careful how you behave, your kids will copy you. But seriously, she's taught me that it's important to define your values, and live up to them for ourselves, and our kids.
Genevieve: Choose your relatives wisely. Nah, he has taught me about having a good work ethic, and responsible money habits; how to have a laugh, even when things are not going well.
What is your favourite memory together?
Ged: Working together on the farm has been special. Generally sharing my enjoyment of the land and seeing my daughter working hard.
Genevieve: Dad teaching me how to ride the quad bike on the farm and how to shoot grizzly bears if I ever needed to (while mum was away, of course). Also, our annual fathers' camps at the beach with the uncles and cousins. We've been going together since I was about 7, and it's always heaps of fun getting hyped up on marshmallows and fizzy drinks with 40 of my closest cousins. Basically, everything mums don't let us do.
What's the hardest thing about father-daughter relationships?
Ged: They grow up too fast. When you're working hard or stressed with work, it's difficult to spend as much time as you'd like to with them.
Genevieve: Aside from the fact he's too frugal, and he loves a bargain, there's nothing too hard about it.
How has your relationship evolved?
Ged: Our discussions are becoming more adult and it is nice to see her developing her own convictions.
Genevieve: We have the same sense of humour. He's taught me a lot about the farm, so I'm always on call for him. These days there's more of a chance I can win a bet against him, and he asks my opinion more as I get older.
How will you celebrate Father's Day?
Ged: Lunch at home with the family, sitting around the table having cups of tea, enjoying banter and good conversations.
Genevieve: Hopefully, I remember when Father's Day is! I'm sure Mum has it covered, but I might delegate one of my sisters to make him a cup of tea.
Leon and Kiera-Lee
Energetic and sporty duo Leon and Kiera-Lee Cooper, 7, live in Pāpāmoa, where Leon, 50, is a builder. In their family are mum Shannon and siblings Kori, 17, Rico, 11, and Layla, 2.
What do you love most about each other?
Leon: Kiera-Lee has so much energy. I see it in her dancing, school activities, friendships, day-to-day activities. She puts her all into everything.
Kiera-Lee: When he swings me in the air with his strong muscles.
What's the most important thing you've taught one another?
Leon: Patience, ha, ha. But also having to take a step back and see things from another perspective.
Kiera-Lee: How to say karakia and how to shoot the netball into the high goals.
What do you think makes a good dad?
Leon: Someone who's willing to learn, be a good role model, and
shares their culture and identity with their children.
Kiera-Lee: Having fun together at Christmas and all the other family celebrations. Being funny also makes a good dad.
If you had one wish you could grant each other, what would it be?
Leon: To dream big and to achieve anything she puts her mind to.
Kiera-Lee: No lockdown so he can take us to see our nan.
How will you celebrate Father's Day?
Leon: A nice breakfast or get outdoors together as a family.
Kiera-Lee: Set up a surprise for him, make him a nice dinner, and let him have a quiet day.
PJ and Jazz
Passionate musos PJ and Jazz Vidamo perform together on stage. Jazz, 12, aka Matamata's Opera Princess wn medals in five of six categories at the 2019 World Championships of Performing Arts in Hollywood; and sang with Sol3 Mio at Spark Arena this year. PJ, 39, is a technical manager at Silver Fern Farms and worship leader at Matamata Bible Church. They live with mum Leigh and sister, Blues, 11.
What makes your relationship special?
PJ: We can communicate without words (simple gestures or a look) and it comes in handy, especially when Jazz is on stage.
Jazz: Besides singing and drawing, I feel that he really supports me in the things that I want to do.
What's the most important thing you've taught one another?
PJ: Perseverance. Setting a goal and working hard to attain it.
Jazz: Consistency in everything that I do, whether big or small.
What is your favourite memory together?
PJ: When Jazz uttered her first word at 9 months old: "Daddy".
Jazz: Busking together (to get to America for the world championships), even though he sprained his ankle and was on crutches.
What's the hardest thing about father-daughter relationships?
PJ: Puberty and the transition that goes with it.
What about each other do you brag to your friends about?
PJ: We sing opera songs together.
Jazz: I can tell him everything about my day, and also be able to sing with him.
How will you celebrate Father's Day?
PJ: A special dinner with family is enough. Jazz always give me a personal massage coupon too.
Jazz: A special home-cooked meal and a painting that I made for him, and yes, a massage coupon.
Luke and Lokki
Luke and Lokki Perrott, 8, are alike in what they find interesting and funny, and share in things that spark their common interest. Luke, 40, is a health and safety supervisor and business owner. He and his wife Kate also have a son Atli, 6.
What do you love most about each other?
Luke: Seeing the joy on Lokki's face when she learns something new or finally figures out how to do something that she's been working at.
Lokki: He always plays games with us, takes me to my sports and gives me tips, and helps me learn new tricks on the tramp.
What's the most important thing you've taught one another?
Luke: Probably patience. I think I've learned to be more patient, and I think Lokki is slowly getting there too.
Lokki: Dad always tells me to try my best at everything I do, and always congratulate others if they do well.
What do you think makes a good dad?
Luke: Try to enjoy what your kids enjoy, be it playing with dolls, kicking a ball around, reading, painting, or playing video games. Even if it's not your thing, kids love it when you show interest in something they're interested in.
Lokki: He's always willing to listen when I have something to say or a question I need answering.
If you had one wish you could grant each other, what would it be?
Luke: A life full of fun and happiness, heartbreak and joy.
Lokki: That his life is always filled with joy.
How will you celebrate Father's Day?
Luke: Ideally, it will be a fine day, and we can spend time together out and about, maybe a special breakfast or lunch, and also some time with my dad.
Lokki: I'll make him a coffee in bed, help Mum buy him a present - might have to be online if we stay in lockdown - and do something fun and active that he wants to do.
